Version 2010
12 days of sickness
11 boxes of Kleenex
10 bags of garbage
9 hundred hours of movies
8 piles of new toys
7 cases of pneumonia
6 kids, sick and bored
5 hours of sleep
4 throwing uppers
3 canceled parties
2 exhausted parents
and a totally destroyed house!
And there you have the Schwab family Christmas vacation. I won't even ask, could it get worse, because it probably could!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
The Big Day
We last left my mom with a new baby and a wondering thought of, will this guy stick around. She slowly came to realize that he wasn't going anywhere and wanted to be a part of our lives. But, things were about to change.
He was an American, don't forget. And he was about to be stationed elsewhere; Texas, to be exact. When he brought it up to my mom, she had a very difficult decision to make, one that would change her life and mine forever.
The choices were clear enough, just not easy to make. Should she say goodbye to him and watch him leave the country, maybe to never return? It would leave her a single mother, she knew, but Germany was all she'd known. Her family, her friends, her job, everything was right there and it was good. But if she said goodbye, where would that leave her daughter? Without a dad, for sure, one she would probably never see again.
Should she follow him to the US? A place she'd only heard about in school and in movies? It wasn't just that it was a new place, but she hardly knew the language, knew little about the culture and knew no one besides this one American. And her family did not want her to leave and let her know it. But, if she went, her daughter would have her father, and she would have the man she'd come to love.
Well, you know what she decided, don't you. It's a dead give away, since I'm sitting here writing in English and not traveling the country looking for a dad I never met. What a hard decision to make though. I commend her decision and think it was the right one, even though for her, it was the more difficult one. They married on January 31st and by Easter were ready to head for the states.
I had been living with my Oma and Opa for a while now, with my mom visiting on the weekends. I had formed a bond with my Oma so deep, that neither of us still fully understand it. The last time I was in Germany visiting, we looked at old pictures and my Oma pulled out a photo of her and I on Easter. She just started to cry. Then she told me, it was the last weekend I was with her and she'd had to say goodbye to me. It still hurt her deeply to even talk about it. I could tell she never really thought it was the right choice. I cried along with her for all the lost weekend visits, the relationship that had only just begun and hadn't had a chance to mature, and the memories that were never made.
Though it's sad to think of this, I believe the Lord was guiding my mom to the states. He had a very specific plan for her life as he does for all our lives. I know he knows best and I do believe she made a good choice. I can say confidently that I wouldn't know my Lord if he hadn't directed her steps to the states.
Almost daily we are faced with hard circumstances and hard choices. Often we know the right choice just because our 'conscience' is telling us. That little voice in our heads is saying, "choose this way". I believe that to be the Holy Spirit. And all too often we ignore his prompting, because it's the harder choice and we like things to be easy. But if we are willing to make the right, albeit more difficult, choice, we are opening ourselves up to all kinds of blessings from the Lord.
In my mom's case, she wasn't consciously choosing the choice that the Lord wanted her to make, she was just listening to that little voice in her head. Later in life, when she knew the Lord, I know she would have said he led her to the states, but at the moment she wasn't aware of his leading. He was still leading, she just wasn't acknowledging that part of the situation. She still chose the harder path, setting aside her self and her worries for the concerns of her new family.
So, the day after Easter, we flew to the United States, to our new home, and a new life, leaving behind all my mom and I knew for the unknown and the adventure that awaited.
He was an American, don't forget. And he was about to be stationed elsewhere; Texas, to be exact. When he brought it up to my mom, she had a very difficult decision to make, one that would change her life and mine forever.
The choices were clear enough, just not easy to make. Should she say goodbye to him and watch him leave the country, maybe to never return? It would leave her a single mother, she knew, but Germany was all she'd known. Her family, her friends, her job, everything was right there and it was good. But if she said goodbye, where would that leave her daughter? Without a dad, for sure, one she would probably never see again.
Should she follow him to the US? A place she'd only heard about in school and in movies? It wasn't just that it was a new place, but she hardly knew the language, knew little about the culture and knew no one besides this one American. And her family did not want her to leave and let her know it. But, if she went, her daughter would have her father, and she would have the man she'd come to love.
Well, you know what she decided, don't you. It's a dead give away, since I'm sitting here writing in English and not traveling the country looking for a dad I never met. What a hard decision to make though. I commend her decision and think it was the right one, even though for her, it was the more difficult one. They married on January 31st and by Easter were ready to head for the states.
I had been living with my Oma and Opa for a while now, with my mom visiting on the weekends. I had formed a bond with my Oma so deep, that neither of us still fully understand it. The last time I was in Germany visiting, we looked at old pictures and my Oma pulled out a photo of her and I on Easter. She just started to cry. Then she told me, it was the last weekend I was with her and she'd had to say goodbye to me. It still hurt her deeply to even talk about it. I could tell she never really thought it was the right choice. I cried along with her for all the lost weekend visits, the relationship that had only just begun and hadn't had a chance to mature, and the memories that were never made.
Though it's sad to think of this, I believe the Lord was guiding my mom to the states. He had a very specific plan for her life as he does for all our lives. I know he knows best and I do believe she made a good choice. I can say confidently that I wouldn't know my Lord if he hadn't directed her steps to the states.
Almost daily we are faced with hard circumstances and hard choices. Often we know the right choice just because our 'conscience' is telling us. That little voice in our heads is saying, "choose this way". I believe that to be the Holy Spirit. And all too often we ignore his prompting, because it's the harder choice and we like things to be easy. But if we are willing to make the right, albeit more difficult, choice, we are opening ourselves up to all kinds of blessings from the Lord.
In my mom's case, she wasn't consciously choosing the choice that the Lord wanted her to make, she was just listening to that little voice in her head. Later in life, when she knew the Lord, I know she would have said he led her to the states, but at the moment she wasn't aware of his leading. He was still leading, she just wasn't acknowledging that part of the situation. She still chose the harder path, setting aside her self and her worries for the concerns of her new family.
So, the day after Easter, we flew to the United States, to our new home, and a new life, leaving behind all my mom and I knew for the unknown and the adventure that awaited.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
My Story
I have this plaque sitting on my desk that says "Home is where your story begins." Annie Danielson.
We all have a story don't we? Whether it includes laughter and joy or heartache and anger or both, we all have a story of where we've been, who we were, and where we're going.
When I started going to school as a kindergartener I developed this habit of hiding my hands behind my back. My mom noticed it and asked me why I was always keeping my hands behind me. I told her that kids were teasing me about my hands, calling them grandma hands. You see, I have extremely deep creases in my hands and always have. I've had people tell me, "you need to put lotion on those things!" But they aren't dry or cracked, they are just wrinkled. Well, she told me, "Oh don't you be ashamed of those hands. Wrinkled hands just mean you'll have an interesting life."
Isn't it amazing how a mom always has the right words. I felt better right away. Looking back, who knows if she just made it up or had heard it somewhere, but whatever the case, she gave me the boost I needed.
Turns out, I think she may have been on to something. I have had a pretty interesting life thus far, and Lord willing, I have a lot of life left to live.
My story begins in a home other than here, my mom's home. 33 years ago my mom met my dad. She lived in Ulm, Germany and he was there with the US airforce. He was walking through town and went into a park and couldn't find his way out. He asked her for directions, which she understood little of, and he followed her out of the park. It could end there, but he didn't just say thanks and leave. He followed her home. He was obviously taken by her. Who wouldn't be? She was a captivating woman, with long, thick, flowing hair, and a rather serious and thoughtful expression.
Months later, he was still dropping by and they began to enjoy one anothers' company. It wasn't long before she found she was pregnant. And here's where I must pause and reveal a wonderful truth in this story. She chose life. She wasn't married, knew her family would be saddened by it, wasn't sure what to do with a child when she worked nights all week at the hospital, didn't know where to put a child in a one bedroom apartment, and had no idea if my dad would stick around. And yet, despite the odds stacked against her, she chose life. And I thank God for that often.
On a hot summer day, two days after my due date, I finally made my entrance into this world. My mom had been in labor for two days and had not even told my dad, so she had me without him knowing about it at all! He had to find her through some friends. Turns out he stuck around.
My dad, being the gentleman, offered to marry my mom as soon as he had found out she was pregnant. Well, she didn't want to be hitched until she knew he would stick around and it took another 1 1/2 years after my birth to convince her.
During that time life wasn't easy for her. She remained single and worked a lot. She had me at a woman's house for daycare and my Oma (grandma) went to pick me up there one day. As she walked into the room where I was supposedly sleeping she saw me shut my eyes quickly when the door opened, pretending to sleep. She knew then and there that she couldn't leave me with that woman anymore. The daycare lady had told my mom before this that I slept all the time. So, I went to live with my grandparents during the week and my mom would come on weekends when she didn't have to work. As hard as that was for my mom she knew I was safe and I built an immensely strong and fierce bond with my Oma that has carried on to today.
It's amazing how as I think about this time in my life, a time I can't remember and know only from stories told me, how others so strongly influence and change the course of our lives. Parents, grandparents, siblings, spouses, even our own children rock our world and turn us around and change us forever. What a great privilege to have these relationships, even if they aren't the healthiest or best for us. They still influence us. Home truly is where our story begins, but it's just that. The beginning.
When I was a year and a half, my mom had to make an extremely hard decision that would affect my life forever. But that's another story for another day.
We all have a story don't we? Whether it includes laughter and joy or heartache and anger or both, we all have a story of where we've been, who we were, and where we're going.
When I started going to school as a kindergartener I developed this habit of hiding my hands behind my back. My mom noticed it and asked me why I was always keeping my hands behind me. I told her that kids were teasing me about my hands, calling them grandma hands. You see, I have extremely deep creases in my hands and always have. I've had people tell me, "you need to put lotion on those things!" But they aren't dry or cracked, they are just wrinkled. Well, she told me, "Oh don't you be ashamed of those hands. Wrinkled hands just mean you'll have an interesting life."
Isn't it amazing how a mom always has the right words. I felt better right away. Looking back, who knows if she just made it up or had heard it somewhere, but whatever the case, she gave me the boost I needed.
Turns out, I think she may have been on to something. I have had a pretty interesting life thus far, and Lord willing, I have a lot of life left to live.
My story begins in a home other than here, my mom's home. 33 years ago my mom met my dad. She lived in Ulm, Germany and he was there with the US airforce. He was walking through town and went into a park and couldn't find his way out. He asked her for directions, which she understood little of, and he followed her out of the park. It could end there, but he didn't just say thanks and leave. He followed her home. He was obviously taken by her. Who wouldn't be? She was a captivating woman, with long, thick, flowing hair, and a rather serious and thoughtful expression.
Months later, he was still dropping by and they began to enjoy one anothers' company. It wasn't long before she found she was pregnant. And here's where I must pause and reveal a wonderful truth in this story. She chose life. She wasn't married, knew her family would be saddened by it, wasn't sure what to do with a child when she worked nights all week at the hospital, didn't know where to put a child in a one bedroom apartment, and had no idea if my dad would stick around. And yet, despite the odds stacked against her, she chose life. And I thank God for that often.
On a hot summer day, two days after my due date, I finally made my entrance into this world. My mom had been in labor for two days and had not even told my dad, so she had me without him knowing about it at all! He had to find her through some friends. Turns out he stuck around.
My dad, being the gentleman, offered to marry my mom as soon as he had found out she was pregnant. Well, she didn't want to be hitched until she knew he would stick around and it took another 1 1/2 years after my birth to convince her.
During that time life wasn't easy for her. She remained single and worked a lot. She had me at a woman's house for daycare and my Oma (grandma) went to pick me up there one day. As she walked into the room where I was supposedly sleeping she saw me shut my eyes quickly when the door opened, pretending to sleep. She knew then and there that she couldn't leave me with that woman anymore. The daycare lady had told my mom before this that I slept all the time. So, I went to live with my grandparents during the week and my mom would come on weekends when she didn't have to work. As hard as that was for my mom she knew I was safe and I built an immensely strong and fierce bond with my Oma that has carried on to today.
It's amazing how as I think about this time in my life, a time I can't remember and know only from stories told me, how others so strongly influence and change the course of our lives. Parents, grandparents, siblings, spouses, even our own children rock our world and turn us around and change us forever. What a great privilege to have these relationships, even if they aren't the healthiest or best for us. They still influence us. Home truly is where our story begins, but it's just that. The beginning.
When I was a year and a half, my mom had to make an extremely hard decision that would affect my life forever. But that's another story for another day.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Give it all away
Yesterday my boys and a neighbor girl spent the day doing a lemonade and cookie stand. They had helped bake cookies the day before and were excited! They decided at the beginning of the day to donate all the money they made to Do:Living Water, an organization that builds fresh water wells in Africa for villages that are without.
For about the first twenty minutes cars just kept going by and the kids started getting disappointed and discouraged. They were complaining that they weren't going to make anything at all. I told them to just wait a little longer and I started praying the Lord would come through for them and show them what their efforts could produce. Boy, did he ever come through!
During the stand when customers would come up, the kids would tell them, "50 cents for a cookie, 50 cents for lemonade or a dollar for both." Then they would politely get out a cookie or fill a cup of lemonade and take the money. At that point they would say, "Thanks. All the money goes to build wells in Africa." Often the customers would tell them to keep the change and offer more money. It was so fun to watch and very fulfilling for the kids.
At the end of the day they had made $40. It was a great accomplishment for the kids since their goal was $30. They were counting it up and started talking about what they could buy with $40. Then they started talking about each keeping just one dollar. They were tempted by all that money there.
I just listened quietly, wondering if I should step in and say something about their original plan, but I felt the Lord telling me to stay quiet. As they talked on about it, it came around to one of them saying, "No, I'm not taking any of the money. I'm giving it all to wells just like we planned." Quickly they all came to that consensus and I was thrilled to see the Holy Spirit work through three 9 year olds to make a good decision.
I can't begin to describe how proud I am of my boys and our neighbor. They did an awesome job and made a God honoring decision! But even more than that, they learned that they can accomplish God's work with a little ambition, some team work, and a lot of fun.
What a faith builder for me, to see how the Lord worked in them, and brought about a victory for His kingdom work.
For about the first twenty minutes cars just kept going by and the kids started getting disappointed and discouraged. They were complaining that they weren't going to make anything at all. I told them to just wait a little longer and I started praying the Lord would come through for them and show them what their efforts could produce. Boy, did he ever come through!
During the stand when customers would come up, the kids would tell them, "50 cents for a cookie, 50 cents for lemonade or a dollar for both." Then they would politely get out a cookie or fill a cup of lemonade and take the money. At that point they would say, "Thanks. All the money goes to build wells in Africa." Often the customers would tell them to keep the change and offer more money. It was so fun to watch and very fulfilling for the kids.
At the end of the day they had made $40. It was a great accomplishment for the kids since their goal was $30. They were counting it up and started talking about what they could buy with $40. Then they started talking about each keeping just one dollar. They were tempted by all that money there.
I just listened quietly, wondering if I should step in and say something about their original plan, but I felt the Lord telling me to stay quiet. As they talked on about it, it came around to one of them saying, "No, I'm not taking any of the money. I'm giving it all to wells just like we planned." Quickly they all came to that consensus and I was thrilled to see the Holy Spirit work through three 9 year olds to make a good decision.
I can't begin to describe how proud I am of my boys and our neighbor. They did an awesome job and made a God honoring decision! But even more than that, they learned that they can accomplish God's work with a little ambition, some team work, and a lot of fun.
What a faith builder for me, to see how the Lord worked in them, and brought about a victory for His kingdom work.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Little Girl Lost
Not long ago around 9 in the evening, a young girl stopped by our house. She looked to be 15 or so. She was wearing pajamas and walking barefoot. She asked to use a phone and we let her. She tried a couple numbers and then handed back the phone. As she walked away the phone rang and it was someone she was trying to reach. So, she talked for a few minutes, handed back the phone and turned to walk away. My husband asked her if everything was all right, and she said, "yeah, fine". Then she took off running down the street.
Around 10:30pm we got a call from her sister asking if she was here. We told her what we knew and she informed us that she had had a fight with her dad and ran away. We started to pray for her and felt burdened for her. Around midnight her family was still out looking for her and came through our street. Andrew was still in the garage and saw them drive slowly down the street, so he stepped out and talked with them.
What he found out, scared us to the core. This young girl was trying to meet up with a man she'd met on the internet. A much older man who I'm sure did not truly want to help her.
We found out the next day that she returned home in the middle of the night and was safe. Praise God! But in the midst of this situation we thanked our God above that we knew where our daughters were in the middle of the night. I had to give them all big hugs in the morning. Not only that, but we realized the importance of the relationship between father and daughter.
A father needs to love his daughter so much and show it to her, so that she won't have any reason to turn to an outside source to fill that need. And there is an innate need in a little girl to be doted on and loved and cherished by her father. That's not to say discipline and rules are set aside, but that there is a balance. That need doesn't disappear with age. In fact I think it grows stronger in the teenage years when life is confusing at best.
In light of it all, give your daughters a big hug, and love them with all you've got. It will be what keeps them from running and leaving you wondering if your little girl is lost.
Around 10:30pm we got a call from her sister asking if she was here. We told her what we knew and she informed us that she had had a fight with her dad and ran away. We started to pray for her and felt burdened for her. Around midnight her family was still out looking for her and came through our street. Andrew was still in the garage and saw them drive slowly down the street, so he stepped out and talked with them.
What he found out, scared us to the core. This young girl was trying to meet up with a man she'd met on the internet. A much older man who I'm sure did not truly want to help her.
We found out the next day that she returned home in the middle of the night and was safe. Praise God! But in the midst of this situation we thanked our God above that we knew where our daughters were in the middle of the night. I had to give them all big hugs in the morning. Not only that, but we realized the importance of the relationship between father and daughter.
A father needs to love his daughter so much and show it to her, so that she won't have any reason to turn to an outside source to fill that need. And there is an innate need in a little girl to be doted on and loved and cherished by her father. That's not to say discipline and rules are set aside, but that there is a balance. That need doesn't disappear with age. In fact I think it grows stronger in the teenage years when life is confusing at best.
In light of it all, give your daughters a big hug, and love them with all you've got. It will be what keeps them from running and leaving you wondering if your little girl is lost.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Taming the Tongue
James 3:7-8
3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt[a] water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
How often do the words that emit from my mouth "curse men"? When was the last time I spoke ill of someone? Yesterday? A couple hours ago? All too often I justify our ungodly and hurtful words of another with all kinds of reasoning. I'm right and they're wrong so I can speak of it to another. I want to share the issue to have others pray. I want to help the person so we're getting advice from another. They all seem like good reasons, yet I am still using my tongue to "praise our Lord and Father, and curse men".
A house divided against itself cannot stand. Verse eleven says,"Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?" It can't. It wasn't created that way and it's impossible for it to happen. Why then do I think it's okay to let praise and cursing come from the same spring? It is a house divided against itself and will not stand long. It will come back to bite me in the butt.
If I are to live the life Christ intends for me and be who He calls usmeo be, I need to tame the tongue. But, you say, how can you tame the tongue when the Bible says it cannot be tamed by man? Only by allowing the Holy Spirit to lead me and prompt me can the tongue be tamed. It's through His good work in me that I can overcome the evil that is the tongue.
Ultimately, because men were created in God's likeness, if I speak ill of another person, I am speaking ill of God. Now that's convicting.
3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt[a] water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
How often do the words that emit from my mouth "curse men"? When was the last time I spoke ill of someone? Yesterday? A couple hours ago? All too often I justify our ungodly and hurtful words of another with all kinds of reasoning. I'm right and they're wrong so I can speak of it to another. I want to share the issue to have others pray. I want to help the person so we're getting advice from another. They all seem like good reasons, yet I am still using my tongue to "praise our Lord and Father, and curse men".
A house divided against itself cannot stand. Verse eleven says,"Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?" It can't. It wasn't created that way and it's impossible for it to happen. Why then do I think it's okay to let praise and cursing come from the same spring? It is a house divided against itself and will not stand long. It will come back to bite me in the butt.
If I are to live the life Christ intends for me and be who He calls usmeo be, I need to tame the tongue. But, you say, how can you tame the tongue when the Bible says it cannot be tamed by man? Only by allowing the Holy Spirit to lead me and prompt me can the tongue be tamed. It's through His good work in me that I can overcome the evil that is the tongue.
Ultimately, because men were created in God's likeness, if I speak ill of another person, I am speaking ill of God. Now that's convicting.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Anniversary
Today we are celebrating 12 years of marriage. I woke up this morning thinking about what I was doing 12 years ago today. Getting up early, eating on a nervous stomach, getting my hair done, lunch that my wonderful German aunts made, then pictures, ceremony, and party! It was all such a blur, moving so fast.
There are two moments when I remember time standing still. The first was when my bridesmaids had finished helping me get ready and left to find Andrew. He came in to see me for the first time and it was just the two of us. I just remember the look on his face, one that I still see often today. His expression told me how beautiful I was and how much he loved me. It did seem like time stood still for a little while there.
The second was when the party was over and we finally had made it to the hotel. We plopped on the bed, utterly exhausted and stared at the ceiling. We both said, "Can you believe it, we're married!"
Now, 12 years later, we often don't say, "can you believe it, we're married!". Now we often say, "Can you believe it, we have six kids!" Boy, what 12 years can do!
We got married young. I was 18 and Andrew was 21 and there were people who were sure we wouldn't last more than a year. And, unfortunately for a lot of people that's the case. They get married young, think they have it all figured out and then realize, it's a lot more work than they first thought. We went through that too. Thinking, no problem, this will be easy. Then realizing that marriage is actually hard and takes work. In fact, we're still trying to figure it all out.
But the difference is this: we went into marriage without the word divorce. We had promised each other, ourselves, and God that we would never use the word divorce and we've stuck to it. We have had our fair share of arguments and being angry with each other. But we've never even thought of throwing in the towel. No matter how hard it is, we stick it out together. And we've had more good times than bad in our marriage.
So now, 12 years later, we love each other more than we did on our wedding day, we know a little more about how to get along, and we are enjoying our crazy, chaotic, life together!
Thanks be to God for his glorious riches and abundant love and wisdom that he so willingly pours out on us so that we can glorify him and make it through this life victorious.
There are two moments when I remember time standing still. The first was when my bridesmaids had finished helping me get ready and left to find Andrew. He came in to see me for the first time and it was just the two of us. I just remember the look on his face, one that I still see often today. His expression told me how beautiful I was and how much he loved me. It did seem like time stood still for a little while there.
The second was when the party was over and we finally had made it to the hotel. We plopped on the bed, utterly exhausted and stared at the ceiling. We both said, "Can you believe it, we're married!"
Now, 12 years later, we often don't say, "can you believe it, we're married!". Now we often say, "Can you believe it, we have six kids!" Boy, what 12 years can do!
We got married young. I was 18 and Andrew was 21 and there were people who were sure we wouldn't last more than a year. And, unfortunately for a lot of people that's the case. They get married young, think they have it all figured out and then realize, it's a lot more work than they first thought. We went through that too. Thinking, no problem, this will be easy. Then realizing that marriage is actually hard and takes work. In fact, we're still trying to figure it all out.
But the difference is this: we went into marriage without the word divorce. We had promised each other, ourselves, and God that we would never use the word divorce and we've stuck to it. We have had our fair share of arguments and being angry with each other. But we've never even thought of throwing in the towel. No matter how hard it is, we stick it out together. And we've had more good times than bad in our marriage.
So now, 12 years later, we love each other more than we did on our wedding day, we know a little more about how to get along, and we are enjoying our crazy, chaotic, life together!
Thanks be to God for his glorious riches and abundant love and wisdom that he so willingly pours out on us so that we can glorify him and make it through this life victorious.
Monday, July 19, 2010
A Kid's Perspective
One afternoon last week as I was preparing supper, I heard Olivia and Elliot coaxing Evelyn and Madelyn up the stairs. I started to listen in and they were saying, "Come on girls, do you want to read the Bible in Mom's room?" This got me intrigued so I watched as Olivia, carrying the big hardcover Bible, led the pack down the hallway into my room. I crept around the corner to listen to the conversation. Olivia and Elliot were helping the little girls get up on my bed, then they all sat together and opened the Bible.
Olivia started telling the story. "We're going to read a story about Jesus today,"she said.
Elliot: "There are bad guys in the story too."
Olivia: "You're right. What did the bad guys do to Jesus?"
Elliot: "They punched him."
Olivia: "You're right. What else did the bad guys do to Jesus?"
Elliot: "They took all his clothes until he was naked."
Olivia: "Yeah, so he was naked. Okay, now it's time for bed."
At that they all cuddled up under the covers together and pretended to go to sleep.
I laughed so hard I cried. It was all so sweet and sincere. And totally a kid's perspective of the whole Gospel. Amazingly, they understand so much already at 5 and 3. It doesn't take much and these small children start to grasp the truth.
Olivia started telling the story. "We're going to read a story about Jesus today,"she said.
Elliot: "There are bad guys in the story too."
Olivia: "You're right. What did the bad guys do to Jesus?"
Elliot: "They punched him."
Olivia: "You're right. What else did the bad guys do to Jesus?"
Elliot: "They took all his clothes until he was naked."
Olivia: "Yeah, so he was naked. Okay, now it's time for bed."
At that they all cuddled up under the covers together and pretended to go to sleep.
I laughed so hard I cried. It was all so sweet and sincere. And totally a kid's perspective of the whole Gospel. Amazingly, they understand so much already at 5 and 3. It doesn't take much and these small children start to grasp the truth.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
I am not a patient person
I hear that a lot when I talk to people about home schooling. "I'm not patient enough." "I clash too much with my child." The excuses are endless, but all along this theme of patience.
Let me tell you, I am not a patient person. In fact, I'm one of the least patient people I know. I have a short fuse and a big temper. I get frustrated easily and snap. I get frustrated when someone doesn't get a concept right away. I get annoyed when another child interrupts. I get irate when someone cries over having to do a difficult task. In short, I am not a patient person.
And yet, strangely, the Lord has not let me use that as an excuse. In fact, I think part of the reason I've been called to home school is to learn patience. What better way than to be thrown into every possible situation in one day that would make me lose my patience! Believe me I have a lot to learn. I may never get to that place where I can even say "I am patient". But the Lord keeps working on me and teaching me through home schooling. I wouldn't miss this refinement for the world.
When you look at this statement as an excuse from people, in light of reasons to home school, it really seems quite lame.There are endless reasons to set yourself aside and let the Lord work through you. We have to realize it's not about me, or even my kids, but about Kingdom work and eternal life.
I'm not patient, but I want my kids to know their Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. I'm clash with one of my kids, A LOT, but I don't want to conform to the pattern of this world or allow my kids to do so. I get frustrated easily, but it's teaching me how to sincerely say sorry and teaching all of us how to relate to one another. My days are filled with stress, annoyance, impatience, but they are also filled with victories, joy, and unity. Those outweigh impatience.
In my humble opinion, home schooling is not the easy way, but it's the best way. Maybe I'm a little biased. So I'm a biased, hot tempered, impatient home schooler. Yet for some reason, the Lord picked me to do it, and not only to home school, but with six kids! Guess you don't have to be perfect or even patient to do the Lord's work.
Let me tell you, I am not a patient person. In fact, I'm one of the least patient people I know. I have a short fuse and a big temper. I get frustrated easily and snap. I get frustrated when someone doesn't get a concept right away. I get annoyed when another child interrupts. I get irate when someone cries over having to do a difficult task. In short, I am not a patient person.
And yet, strangely, the Lord has not let me use that as an excuse. In fact, I think part of the reason I've been called to home school is to learn patience. What better way than to be thrown into every possible situation in one day that would make me lose my patience! Believe me I have a lot to learn. I may never get to that place where I can even say "I am patient". But the Lord keeps working on me and teaching me through home schooling. I wouldn't miss this refinement for the world.
When you look at this statement as an excuse from people, in light of reasons to home school, it really seems quite lame.There are endless reasons to set yourself aside and let the Lord work through you. We have to realize it's not about me, or even my kids, but about Kingdom work and eternal life.
I'm not patient, but I want my kids to know their Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. I'm clash with one of my kids, A LOT, but I don't want to conform to the pattern of this world or allow my kids to do so. I get frustrated easily, but it's teaching me how to sincerely say sorry and teaching all of us how to relate to one another. My days are filled with stress, annoyance, impatience, but they are also filled with victories, joy, and unity. Those outweigh impatience.
In my humble opinion, home schooling is not the easy way, but it's the best way. Maybe I'm a little biased. So I'm a biased, hot tempered, impatient home schooler. Yet for some reason, the Lord picked me to do it, and not only to home school, but with six kids! Guess you don't have to be perfect or even patient to do the Lord's work.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Who do you work for?
Hebrews 10: 35So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised
All too often I fall into the mindset of being under appreciated and just plain forgotten about. Here I am at home, serving little people all day who rarely say thanks or clean up after themselves and have no idea how many minutes I spend cleaning up after them. I don't get paid and don't get regular vacation time. The last time I was too sick to take care of the kids, I still had to do it, because hubby couldn't leave work to come home! I spend my days wiping dirty faces, playing referee in arguments, reasoning with those who can't reason, cleaning a house that finds itself trashed minutes later, cooking meals everyone hates and complains about but I know are good for them, and finally falling exhausted into bed to start over the next day.
Not only that, but I have a very, very determined and headstrong child who has a quota to fill each day of testing and pushing the limits, which makes for a very crabby mommy. And I'm pretty sure that most of the time my six kids don't speak English, or they have a very tuned and finely exacted gift of ignoring!
The list goes on and on. In the midst of it all it's a wonder I haven't gone completely insane! Some days I feel close to it. But there is one thing that keeps me going. The Lord has been impressing on my heart lately to persevere and endure. Over and over in my quiet times He has been saying, keep going, don't give up, there is a reward at the end, persevere! And I have been slowly hiding that away in my heart to change and refine my perspective on this life.
Maybe no one appreciates me, but if I persevere, there will be rewards much greater than anything on earth. Maybe my house is a disaster, but if I persevere, I won't be. Maybe my kids get an A+ for disobeying, but if I persevere, they will walk in the truth and follow hard after their God.
There are days when this concept is lost in the chaos of this house! But as the Lord works on me and continues to refine me, it is becoming more and more of the central theme of this house. Persevere and there will be rich rewards at the end.
So, who do I work for? It's not my kids, my husband, my friends. It's my great God, the only true God, and the only one who can offer eternal rewards.
All too often I fall into the mindset of being under appreciated and just plain forgotten about. Here I am at home, serving little people all day who rarely say thanks or clean up after themselves and have no idea how many minutes I spend cleaning up after them. I don't get paid and don't get regular vacation time. The last time I was too sick to take care of the kids, I still had to do it, because hubby couldn't leave work to come home! I spend my days wiping dirty faces, playing referee in arguments, reasoning with those who can't reason, cleaning a house that finds itself trashed minutes later, cooking meals everyone hates and complains about but I know are good for them, and finally falling exhausted into bed to start over the next day.
Not only that, but I have a very, very determined and headstrong child who has a quota to fill each day of testing and pushing the limits, which makes for a very crabby mommy. And I'm pretty sure that most of the time my six kids don't speak English, or they have a very tuned and finely exacted gift of ignoring!
The list goes on and on. In the midst of it all it's a wonder I haven't gone completely insane! Some days I feel close to it. But there is one thing that keeps me going. The Lord has been impressing on my heart lately to persevere and endure. Over and over in my quiet times He has been saying, keep going, don't give up, there is a reward at the end, persevere! And I have been slowly hiding that away in my heart to change and refine my perspective on this life.
Maybe no one appreciates me, but if I persevere, there will be rewards much greater than anything on earth. Maybe my house is a disaster, but if I persevere, I won't be. Maybe my kids get an A+ for disobeying, but if I persevere, they will walk in the truth and follow hard after their God.
There are days when this concept is lost in the chaos of this house! But as the Lord works on me and continues to refine me, it is becoming more and more of the central theme of this house. Persevere and there will be rich rewards at the end.
So, who do I work for? It's not my kids, my husband, my friends. It's my great God, the only true God, and the only one who can offer eternal rewards.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Growing Up
I remember when my mom turned thirty. I was about eight and I thought she was soooo old! I couldn't believe anyone could be thirty. I also couldn't see myself ever getting that old!
Now, I'm thirty and last summer when I turned thirty my boys, who were eight, told my I was soooo old! How the tides have turned. I thought to myself, it's not that old.
Often I think, I'm not old enough to have six kids! I have a friend with teenagers and she said she doesn't feel old enough to have kids that old! I guess it just sneaks up on you whether you're ready for it or not.
This summer my youngest are about to turn two and my oldest about to turn nine! I don't feel old enough for that either. It's bittersweet too, watching them grow up so fast. People often told me, enjoy it, it goes by fast. And, especially when the oldest were really little, I'd think, it sure isn't going by fast right now! And yet, look at it now. There aren't any babies in the house anymore and my boys are moving close to double digits!
Last night I gave my two year olds haircuts and bangs. It instantly made them look so much older and I realized they aren't babies anymore. They've somehow, under the radar, turned into little girls. I feel I missed it somewhere, with everything that goes on here. Right under my nose they are all growing up.
Last week my five year old got glasses and boy, did that make her look grown up, and adorable. But again, I thought, I still have vivid memories of rocking her as a baby and now she's going on six and about to start kindergarten.
So, whether I'm old enough or not, that's life! It is true, that it goes by in the blink of an eye and you look back wondering where did the time go? You and I have heard it before, but I'll say it again, better enjoy it, it goes by way too fast.
Now, I'm thirty and last summer when I turned thirty my boys, who were eight, told my I was soooo old! How the tides have turned. I thought to myself, it's not that old.
Often I think, I'm not old enough to have six kids! I have a friend with teenagers and she said she doesn't feel old enough to have kids that old! I guess it just sneaks up on you whether you're ready for it or not.
This summer my youngest are about to turn two and my oldest about to turn nine! I don't feel old enough for that either. It's bittersweet too, watching them grow up so fast. People often told me, enjoy it, it goes by fast. And, especially when the oldest were really little, I'd think, it sure isn't going by fast right now! And yet, look at it now. There aren't any babies in the house anymore and my boys are moving close to double digits!
Last night I gave my two year olds haircuts and bangs. It instantly made them look so much older and I realized they aren't babies anymore. They've somehow, under the radar, turned into little girls. I feel I missed it somewhere, with everything that goes on here. Right under my nose they are all growing up.
Last week my five year old got glasses and boy, did that make her look grown up, and adorable. But again, I thought, I still have vivid memories of rocking her as a baby and now she's going on six and about to start kindergarten.
So, whether I'm old enough or not, that's life! It is true, that it goes by in the blink of an eye and you look back wondering where did the time go? You and I have heard it before, but I'll say it again, better enjoy it, it goes by way too fast.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Left-over sin
2 Kings 10:28-29 So Jehu destroyed Baal worship in Israel. However, he did not turn away from the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, which he had caused Israel to commi - the worship of golden calves at Bethel and Dan.
This struck me today as I was reading. Jehu worked so hard at getting rid of Baal worship. He even used deception to get all the Baal priests in one temple to kill them. He spent time on this and energy and money. Yet when all was said and done, it wasn't really all said and done. For some reason he was okay with the golden calf worship and didn't see the need to rid Israel of that. At one point before he killed all the Baal priests, he said to someone, "Come, see my zeal for the Lord". His zeal was obviously not that full of zeal.
It made me think, though, about myself. How many left over sins do I have? Do I spend time and energy getting rid of one sin and then think, good, that's done? What or who am I truly worshiping?
I don't like to dwell overly on sin because I know I'm forgiven and Christ has paid for those sins. I don't need to beat myself up over them continually, but I do need to confess them and move away from them. I also need to ask my Lord what I'm hanging on to that needs to go.
Thankfully, He is gracious and forgiving and will reveal what I need to purge and give me the strength to do it. He doesn't want us to have left-overs anymore than we do!
This struck me today as I was reading. Jehu worked so hard at getting rid of Baal worship. He even used deception to get all the Baal priests in one temple to kill them. He spent time on this and energy and money. Yet when all was said and done, it wasn't really all said and done. For some reason he was okay with the golden calf worship and didn't see the need to rid Israel of that. At one point before he killed all the Baal priests, he said to someone, "Come, see my zeal for the Lord". His zeal was obviously not that full of zeal.
It made me think, though, about myself. How many left over sins do I have? Do I spend time and energy getting rid of one sin and then think, good, that's done? What or who am I truly worshiping?
I don't like to dwell overly on sin because I know I'm forgiven and Christ has paid for those sins. I don't need to beat myself up over them continually, but I do need to confess them and move away from them. I also need to ask my Lord what I'm hanging on to that needs to go.
Thankfully, He is gracious and forgiving and will reveal what I need to purge and give me the strength to do it. He doesn't want us to have left-overs anymore than we do!
Friday, June 11, 2010
Victory!
This whole week I've felt just down, kind of blah. I couldn't really pinpoint it but everything had me discouraged. Nothing big, but just little things all week. Last week we went to the eye doctor and my eyes got worse and I'm still trying to find contacts that will work right. And Olivia needs glasses. Our van had just broken down and needed major repairs, and it's been raining for what feels like a month!
Well last night I was supposed to go to Bible study and every thought I had was against going. But I picked myself up and grabbed my stuff and fought the urge to stay home. Let me tell you, I'm so glad I did. It was exactly what I needed. I spent two hours with people I love, talking about the Lord I love and laughing hard, which is great medicine for a down-trodden spirit.
As I got into the car to drive home the perfect song came on the radio. I thought, Thank you, Lord, for bringing me to group tonight, thank you for this song. It's exactly what I needed.
When I got home I was feeling a little better and as I laid down in bed it dawned on me. This is spiritual warfare. Satan wants me to feel discouraged and cut off from friends. He wants me to feel alone in this world so that he can get at my heart. I don't know why it took me four or five days, but hey, I'm a little slow, okay!
I prayed in the name of Jesus for Satan to leave and took away all his power over my thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and relinquished every burden I'd been holding on to, to my all powerful God. And an amazing thing happened. I felt amazingly better and not only that but light as a feather as if a huge weight was lifted from me.
I hope next time I feel down and discouraged I remember a little quicker that I can call on my Lord and he will rescue me. There's nothing better than knowing we can have victory every time over Satan because of our great God! Thank you, God, that you are an all powerful, ever present God, who knows my needs and how to rescue me!
Well last night I was supposed to go to Bible study and every thought I had was against going. But I picked myself up and grabbed my stuff and fought the urge to stay home. Let me tell you, I'm so glad I did. It was exactly what I needed. I spent two hours with people I love, talking about the Lord I love and laughing hard, which is great medicine for a down-trodden spirit.
As I got into the car to drive home the perfect song came on the radio. I thought, Thank you, Lord, for bringing me to group tonight, thank you for this song. It's exactly what I needed.
When I got home I was feeling a little better and as I laid down in bed it dawned on me. This is spiritual warfare. Satan wants me to feel discouraged and cut off from friends. He wants me to feel alone in this world so that he can get at my heart. I don't know why it took me four or five days, but hey, I'm a little slow, okay!
I prayed in the name of Jesus for Satan to leave and took away all his power over my thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and relinquished every burden I'd been holding on to, to my all powerful God. And an amazing thing happened. I felt amazingly better and not only that but light as a feather as if a huge weight was lifted from me.
I hope next time I feel down and discouraged I remember a little quicker that I can call on my Lord and he will rescue me. There's nothing better than knowing we can have victory every time over Satan because of our great God! Thank you, God, that you are an all powerful, ever present God, who knows my needs and how to rescue me!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Not Really Home
Lately I've been craving Germany. It may sound odd, to crave a place. But to me Germany is my second home. It's, first of all, my birthplace which makes it special in my heart. There are memories built there over the years and the many trips back and there is family there that I see once every two or three or four years.
These days everything has been reminding me of Germany. I'll smell a flower and think, oh, that fragrance is right on the street where my Oma lives. Or I'll taste a food and it will bring my back to Oma's dining table. A sound or a sight of rolling hills will spark images in my mind of places I've seen and visited there.
Of course, when I'm there, I miss Minnesota and all my family here. There's never a true contentment in either place. I often wish I could mold the two places together side by side and have the best of both worlds.
As I thought about this and was missing Germany I was reminded of something a friend told me. As she was moving from one state to another and was having a really hard time with it, a friend of her's told her something so simple yet so profound. "You know," she said, "neither place is really home."
Isn't that the truth? If we truly love our God and know our place after death, no where on this earth is truly home. We will never feel a true contentment because our hearts know where home is and we aren't there yet. It helps close the gap of over 3000 miles on days when I miss Germany to remember that it's not really home, nor is Northfield, Minnesota. My true home is heaven and while I wait anxiously to go there and be home, I will serve my Lord here for as long as He'll let me.
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21
These days everything has been reminding me of Germany. I'll smell a flower and think, oh, that fragrance is right on the street where my Oma lives. Or I'll taste a food and it will bring my back to Oma's dining table. A sound or a sight of rolling hills will spark images in my mind of places I've seen and visited there.
Of course, when I'm there, I miss Minnesota and all my family here. There's never a true contentment in either place. I often wish I could mold the two places together side by side and have the best of both worlds.
As I thought about this and was missing Germany I was reminded of something a friend told me. As she was moving from one state to another and was having a really hard time with it, a friend of her's told her something so simple yet so profound. "You know," she said, "neither place is really home."
Isn't that the truth? If we truly love our God and know our place after death, no where on this earth is truly home. We will never feel a true contentment because our hearts know where home is and we aren't there yet. It helps close the gap of over 3000 miles on days when I miss Germany to remember that it's not really home, nor is Northfield, Minnesota. My true home is heaven and while I wait anxiously to go there and be home, I will serve my Lord here for as long as He'll let me.
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21
Friday, May 28, 2010
So True
It's so easy to get wrapped up in the day to day and get tired of it, especially, I think, as a mom of young kids. Will this ever end, we cry?
These lines from an unknown author gave me a much needed reminder:
One of these days you'll shout, "Why don't you kids grow up and act your age?" And they will. Or you'll say, "Kids, get outside and find yourselves something to do, and don't slam the door!" And they won't.
You'll straighten the boy's bedroom neat and tidy - bumper stickers discarded, spread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves, hangers in the closet with clothes attached, animals caged - and you'll say out loud, "Now I want it to stay just like this!" And it will.
You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked to death and cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you'll say, "Now there's a meal fit for company!" And you will eat alone.
You'll say, "I want complete privacy while I'm on the phone. No dancing around. No pantomimes. No demolition crews. Silence. Do you hear me?" And you will have it.
No more plastic place mats stained with spaghetti. No more spreads to protect sofas from damp bottoms and dusty shoes. No more gates to stumble over in the doorway of the baby's room. No more Hot Wheels or Barbie dolls under the couch. No more playpens to arrange a room around.
No more anxious nights under vaporizer tents. No more cracker curmbs on the sheets. No more wall-to-wall water in the bathroom. No more iron-on patches. No wet, knotted shoelaces, pants with knees out, or rubber bands for pony tails.
Imagine a lipstick with a point on it, not having to get a baby-sitter for New Year's Eve, family washing only once a week, seeing a steak that isn't ground, marketing with only groceries in the basket. No more PTA meetings. No more car pools. No blaring radios or Sesame Street three times a day. No more washing hair at 9 o'clock at night. And no more wondering, "Where is the family car!" Imagine having your own roll of Scotch tape.
Think about it. No more Christmas presents made out of construction paper and will-hold glue. No more sloppy oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No more giggles in the dark. No knees to heal. No responsibility! Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up!" And the silence echoing, "I did!"
Hope this encourages you today.
These lines from an unknown author gave me a much needed reminder:
One of these days you'll shout, "Why don't you kids grow up and act your age?" And they will. Or you'll say, "Kids, get outside and find yourselves something to do, and don't slam the door!" And they won't.
You'll straighten the boy's bedroom neat and tidy - bumper stickers discarded, spread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves, hangers in the closet with clothes attached, animals caged - and you'll say out loud, "Now I want it to stay just like this!" And it will.
You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked to death and cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you'll say, "Now there's a meal fit for company!" And you will eat alone.
You'll say, "I want complete privacy while I'm on the phone. No dancing around. No pantomimes. No demolition crews. Silence. Do you hear me?" And you will have it.
No more plastic place mats stained with spaghetti. No more spreads to protect sofas from damp bottoms and dusty shoes. No more gates to stumble over in the doorway of the baby's room. No more Hot Wheels or Barbie dolls under the couch. No more playpens to arrange a room around.
No more anxious nights under vaporizer tents. No more cracker curmbs on the sheets. No more wall-to-wall water in the bathroom. No more iron-on patches. No wet, knotted shoelaces, pants with knees out, or rubber bands for pony tails.
Imagine a lipstick with a point on it, not having to get a baby-sitter for New Year's Eve, family washing only once a week, seeing a steak that isn't ground, marketing with only groceries in the basket. No more PTA meetings. No more car pools. No blaring radios or Sesame Street three times a day. No more washing hair at 9 o'clock at night. And no more wondering, "Where is the family car!" Imagine having your own roll of Scotch tape.
Think about it. No more Christmas presents made out of construction paper and will-hold glue. No more sloppy oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No more giggles in the dark. No knees to heal. No responsibility! Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up!" And the silence echoing, "I did!"
Hope this encourages you today.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Saint, not Sinner
Have you ever thought you were the absolute worst person in the world? You had a rough day and yelled at everyone around you, or cut off some guy on the road because he was making you angry. You harbored thoughts of jealousy or resentment towards a friend, or blatantly caused them hurt because you were upset.
I have often thought that I must be the worst mom there is. All too often, I am too harsh with my kids over silly little things and am completely impatient. Everyday I can count numerous offenses against my kids and by the end of the day, I think God can't possibly look on me with joy or pleasure.
I'm sure you've heard the phrase 'sinner saved by grace' before. I know I've heard it a lot. And it's true, is it not? We were spiritually dead, slaves to sin, before we accepted God's free gift. Because of amazing grace we are saved from our sins. And so, I've always just thought of myself as a sinner struggling along to do the right things and please God. I'm reminded from time to time that the Holy Spirit is there to help us past that sin, but mostly I just think of how many things I've done wrong in a day and have to ask forgiveness for and the fact that I'll probably do that many wrong tomorrow.
Have you ever thought about yourself differently? Last night I started a new book The Seduction of Our Children by Neil T. Anderson and Steve Russo. I only made it a few pages before something struck me. "But we have confused ourselves and our children by calling ourselves "sinners saved by grace" when the Bible calls us saints who occasionally sin. The difference is profound. If your child (or you) still thinks he's a sinner, he will easily be convinced to do what sinners do: sin. Rather, every born-again child of God is a saint who has been transferred out of the domain of darkness into the kingdom of Christ (Colossians 1:13). The more your child (or you) believes that he is a saint because of his faith in Christ's death and resurrection, the more he will live like a saint." (pg 19, items in parenthesis mine). Wow!
I had to stop and think that one over awhile. I think it'll take me a long time to fully process it. You've all heard of these psychologists toting the notion of "positive thought", right? Well I think when that positive thought is focused on God and His will for our lives it really does work.
This morning, just to drive this point home, God revealed this in His Word to me. Romans 6:18 says, "You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness" and Romans 6:22 says, "But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life." How does this relate? It means that we used to be slaves to sin and are now slaves to a most holy and righteous God that views us as holy and righteous. He doesn't look at us and see all we've done wrong, He looks at us and sees us through Jesus who is holy and righteous. I almost imagine Jesus as a filter that God looks through to see us. That filter removes all the bad and God sees us as saints.
The next time you start berating yourself for all the wrong things you've done, remember to ask forgiveness and then not dwell on it any longer. God isn't. He's forgiven you and doesn't look at you as a sinner but as a saint. What an amazing God we have!
I realize as well that the more I desire to love like He loves, the more He is showing me how much He loves me. If He can look on me and not see my sin, should I not do the same for those around me, especially my kids?
I have often thought that I must be the worst mom there is. All too often, I am too harsh with my kids over silly little things and am completely impatient. Everyday I can count numerous offenses against my kids and by the end of the day, I think God can't possibly look on me with joy or pleasure.
I'm sure you've heard the phrase 'sinner saved by grace' before. I know I've heard it a lot. And it's true, is it not? We were spiritually dead, slaves to sin, before we accepted God's free gift. Because of amazing grace we are saved from our sins. And so, I've always just thought of myself as a sinner struggling along to do the right things and please God. I'm reminded from time to time that the Holy Spirit is there to help us past that sin, but mostly I just think of how many things I've done wrong in a day and have to ask forgiveness for and the fact that I'll probably do that many wrong tomorrow.
Have you ever thought about yourself differently? Last night I started a new book The Seduction of Our Children by Neil T. Anderson and Steve Russo. I only made it a few pages before something struck me. "But we have confused ourselves and our children by calling ourselves "sinners saved by grace" when the Bible calls us saints who occasionally sin. The difference is profound. If your child (or you) still thinks he's a sinner, he will easily be convinced to do what sinners do: sin. Rather, every born-again child of God is a saint who has been transferred out of the domain of darkness into the kingdom of Christ (Colossians 1:13). The more your child (or you) believes that he is a saint because of his faith in Christ's death and resurrection, the more he will live like a saint." (pg 19, items in parenthesis mine). Wow!
I had to stop and think that one over awhile. I think it'll take me a long time to fully process it. You've all heard of these psychologists toting the notion of "positive thought", right? Well I think when that positive thought is focused on God and His will for our lives it really does work.
This morning, just to drive this point home, God revealed this in His Word to me. Romans 6:18 says, "You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness" and Romans 6:22 says, "But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life." How does this relate? It means that we used to be slaves to sin and are now slaves to a most holy and righteous God that views us as holy and righteous. He doesn't look at us and see all we've done wrong, He looks at us and sees us through Jesus who is holy and righteous. I almost imagine Jesus as a filter that God looks through to see us. That filter removes all the bad and God sees us as saints.
The next time you start berating yourself for all the wrong things you've done, remember to ask forgiveness and then not dwell on it any longer. God isn't. He's forgiven you and doesn't look at you as a sinner but as a saint. What an amazing God we have!
I realize as well that the more I desire to love like He loves, the more He is showing me how much He loves me. If He can look on me and not see my sin, should I not do the same for those around me, especially my kids?
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Spending time with God
I was thinking over my quiet times lately and something interesting dawned on me. A few years ago I was in a Bible study called the 2:7 Series. The first book in the series required us at some point during the study to spend seven consecutive days doing quiet times, that is reading somewhere in our Bible, writing about it and praying about it. It took me over two weeks to get seven days in a row! And it was suggested that we spend 15 minutes a day. I remember in that time thinking what in the world will I do for 15 minutes. I even remember looking up at the clock to see if time had gone by yet! It was so hard to read and write and pray for 15 minutes for seven days!
The next book in the study required us to do 14 days in a row! Oh no, I thought, how will I ever get that accomplished? It took me over a month to do it, but as hard as it was I made it, 15 minutes a day and all!
Now, looking back I can't believe I had such a hard time with it. These days I find myself looking up at the clock only to realize that 40 minutes have gone by and I've only read and written. I think, oh no, I have to get the kids up and I'm not done yet! What a change!
What made the difference? There wasn't a specific day that I can say, because of this situation or this miracle or this audible voice from heaven. All that happened is that I persevered and kept trying to spend time with my Bible and God. I started to get to know God slowly with each reading and journal entry and prayer. As I got to know God and am still getting to know Him I want to spend more and more time with Him because I am finding He's so truly amazing and as my boys love to say 'incomprehensible'. The things I can learn about God, His character, His miracles, and His presence never end. Every time I read something in the Bible, even if I've read it before it applies to my life! It's truly amazing how alive scripture is and how much we can benefit from it IF we persevere work through the dry spells.
It's hard at first because there's a lot of information and a lot of history that we just don't understand. But if we continue in it and pray for wisdom and understanding, our great God is faithful in providing what we need and revealing himself to us!
I always find it amazing how easily we can get lost in a good novel. What if we got lost in the pages of the only book that's alive with God's words? What would our lives look like? Go ahead, try it. Just 15 minutes for the next seven days. See what happens.
The next book in the study required us to do 14 days in a row! Oh no, I thought, how will I ever get that accomplished? It took me over a month to do it, but as hard as it was I made it, 15 minutes a day and all!
Now, looking back I can't believe I had such a hard time with it. These days I find myself looking up at the clock only to realize that 40 minutes have gone by and I've only read and written. I think, oh no, I have to get the kids up and I'm not done yet! What a change!
What made the difference? There wasn't a specific day that I can say, because of this situation or this miracle or this audible voice from heaven. All that happened is that I persevered and kept trying to spend time with my Bible and God. I started to get to know God slowly with each reading and journal entry and prayer. As I got to know God and am still getting to know Him I want to spend more and more time with Him because I am finding He's so truly amazing and as my boys love to say 'incomprehensible'. The things I can learn about God, His character, His miracles, and His presence never end. Every time I read something in the Bible, even if I've read it before it applies to my life! It's truly amazing how alive scripture is and how much we can benefit from it IF we persevere work through the dry spells.
It's hard at first because there's a lot of information and a lot of history that we just don't understand. But if we continue in it and pray for wisdom and understanding, our great God is faithful in providing what we need and revealing himself to us!
I always find it amazing how easily we can get lost in a good novel. What if we got lost in the pages of the only book that's alive with God's words? What would our lives look like? Go ahead, try it. Just 15 minutes for the next seven days. See what happens.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Love like you love
Recently my prayer for myself has been, "Lord, help me love the way you love." Seems like a simple thing to do, yet it's so difficult to actually accomplish. I started wondering about a month after praying this prayer what was wrong with me. Why couldn't I love the way Jesus loves and asks me to love?
As I pondered this I started asking the Lord what the obstacle was in my heart that prevented me from loving freely, besides the obvious sinful nature we all struggle with. And our Lord is so good to us and is faithful to answer our prayers, especially when they focus around his will for our lives. He gently revealed to me right over Mother's Day that I still had things I needed to work through from my mom's death. After eight years I honestly believed I was over it and had it all worked out.
Our Lord knows when to reveal certain things to us, and is so good in that he doesn't bombard us with it all at once, but slowly and gently leads us through it.
The revelation was simple yet profound. There was an unconscious, unexpressed fear in my heart. I had never recognized this fear or even thought of it as a possibility. I generally view myself as a person without many fears, so it took me a bit by surprise. The Lord showed me I was afraid that those I loved dearly and openly would then be taken from me and therefore I refrained from loving them like the Lord does.
The Lord is still gently leading me through this obstacle in my life. Recognition of it has been a huge leap in loving others like He does, and He's revealing to me the importance of putting my all into loving others and setting aside the thoughts of losing those people. The saying, it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all rings in my mind. It may sound cliche but it is true. After all, why else were we put on this earth than to love like Jesus.
As I pondered this I started asking the Lord what the obstacle was in my heart that prevented me from loving freely, besides the obvious sinful nature we all struggle with. And our Lord is so good to us and is faithful to answer our prayers, especially when they focus around his will for our lives. He gently revealed to me right over Mother's Day that I still had things I needed to work through from my mom's death. After eight years I honestly believed I was over it and had it all worked out.
Our Lord knows when to reveal certain things to us, and is so good in that he doesn't bombard us with it all at once, but slowly and gently leads us through it.
The revelation was simple yet profound. There was an unconscious, unexpressed fear in my heart. I had never recognized this fear or even thought of it as a possibility. I generally view myself as a person without many fears, so it took me a bit by surprise. The Lord showed me I was afraid that those I loved dearly and openly would then be taken from me and therefore I refrained from loving them like the Lord does.
The Lord is still gently leading me through this obstacle in my life. Recognition of it has been a huge leap in loving others like He does, and He's revealing to me the importance of putting my all into loving others and setting aside the thoughts of losing those people. The saying, it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all rings in my mind. It may sound cliche but it is true. After all, why else were we put on this earth than to love like Jesus.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength
I've been thinking a lot on the verse "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength." I've been meditating on it and pondering what each one means. What does it mean to love Him with my heart? With my soul? With my mind? With my strength?
Here's what I came up with. Can't say for sure it's right so let me hear your opinions!
My heart. One thing that comes to mind is the verse, "For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks," Matthew 12:34. How often do my words not reflect godliness? Truthfully, our hearts are where we hide sin. In Psalm 139, David asks the Lord to "search me, O God, and know my heart". Our hearts need to be constantly cleansed by the Holy Spirit because it's our nature to be sinful. So, how can I love Him with all my heart? By allowing Him to search it and reveal to me my sins hidden there, and then to confess those sins and leave them behind.
My soul. Our soul is the part of us that is eternal. It goes on when we've returned to dust. It's also the part of us that hungers and thirsts for God. In Matthew 10:28 Jesus reminds us, "Do not be afraid of those who can kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell." So we have to make a choice to save our soul. We must accept Jesus as our Savior and therefore protect our soul from Satan. Jesus also reminds us that if we do this, "you will find rest for your souls" Matthew 11:29.
My mind. "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed bu the renewing of your mind.Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will." Romans 12:2 How do we renew our minds? I think it's by staying in His Word on a daily basis - everyday!! It comes about when we memorize Scripture and repeat it to ourselves, when we pray ceaselessly and basically focus our thoughts on Him each moment of each day. And He gives us a great promise - we'll know His will, His good, pleasing and perfect will. Wow!
My strength. I think part of my strength is physical. I believe we need to take good care of our bodies so we can do His work! It's awfully hard to do anything for Him when we're tired, run down, out of shape. We need to take care of the body He's given us for His glory. I also believe we have to trust him for strength we wouldn't normally possess. "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13. All things! Did you catch that? All things.
It boils down to this: If we let Him cleanse our sinful hearts, dwell on what He's taught us, give Him our souls for eternity and count on Him for supernatural strength we are doing what He's commanded us. And I can't think of anything better than the reward at the end, where He'll say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."
Here's what I came up with. Can't say for sure it's right so let me hear your opinions!
My heart. One thing that comes to mind is the verse, "For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks," Matthew 12:34. How often do my words not reflect godliness? Truthfully, our hearts are where we hide sin. In Psalm 139, David asks the Lord to "search me, O God, and know my heart". Our hearts need to be constantly cleansed by the Holy Spirit because it's our nature to be sinful. So, how can I love Him with all my heart? By allowing Him to search it and reveal to me my sins hidden there, and then to confess those sins and leave them behind.
My soul. Our soul is the part of us that is eternal. It goes on when we've returned to dust. It's also the part of us that hungers and thirsts for God. In Matthew 10:28 Jesus reminds us, "Do not be afraid of those who can kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell." So we have to make a choice to save our soul. We must accept Jesus as our Savior and therefore protect our soul from Satan. Jesus also reminds us that if we do this, "you will find rest for your souls" Matthew 11:29.
My mind. "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed bu the renewing of your mind.Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will." Romans 12:2 How do we renew our minds? I think it's by staying in His Word on a daily basis - everyday!! It comes about when we memorize Scripture and repeat it to ourselves, when we pray ceaselessly and basically focus our thoughts on Him each moment of each day. And He gives us a great promise - we'll know His will, His good, pleasing and perfect will. Wow!
My strength. I think part of my strength is physical. I believe we need to take good care of our bodies so we can do His work! It's awfully hard to do anything for Him when we're tired, run down, out of shape. We need to take care of the body He's given us for His glory. I also believe we have to trust him for strength we wouldn't normally possess. "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13. All things! Did you catch that? All things.
It boils down to this: If we let Him cleanse our sinful hearts, dwell on what He's taught us, give Him our souls for eternity and count on Him for supernatural strength we are doing what He's commanded us. And I can't think of anything better than the reward at the end, where He'll say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."
Friday, March 5, 2010
You've got your hands full. . .
If I had a dollar for everytime someone said that to me I'd be stinking rich. No kidding. I don't know if people can think of nothing more clever than that, but honestly, everytime I'm out with all my kids I hear it at least once.
I really need a good reply. I can never think of anything, but "yep". Wow, just about knocked your socks off with that one, didn't I?!
In all honesty though, I don't mind it. I think it's funny to watch people's reactions to us. They'll be looking at us, and then ask, "Are they all yours?" When we say yes you can just see their wheels turning, the eyes widen, the jaw drop. It makes me want to laugh everytime. And then comes the original, never thought of before response, "You've got your hands full."
I sometimes wonder what my kids think. I know they hear it, and it's said a lot. They don't seem to mind though.
Afterwards, I always think of something witty I could have said and think, Man, I wish I would have thought of that.
Right now, all I can think of is, if my hands weren't this full, my heart wouldn't be this full. It's crazy around here at the best of times, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I know for sure that I'll never look back and regret having a big family - I'll take the full hands!
I really need a good reply. I can never think of anything, but "yep". Wow, just about knocked your socks off with that one, didn't I?!
In all honesty though, I don't mind it. I think it's funny to watch people's reactions to us. They'll be looking at us, and then ask, "Are they all yours?" When we say yes you can just see their wheels turning, the eyes widen, the jaw drop. It makes me want to laugh everytime. And then comes the original, never thought of before response, "You've got your hands full."
I sometimes wonder what my kids think. I know they hear it, and it's said a lot. They don't seem to mind though.
Afterwards, I always think of something witty I could have said and think, Man, I wish I would have thought of that.
Right now, all I can think of is, if my hands weren't this full, my heart wouldn't be this full. It's crazy around here at the best of times, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I know for sure that I'll never look back and regret having a big family - I'll take the full hands!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
One of those days, no weeks. . .
If you're a homeschooling mom, I'm sure you'll be able to relate to this. A few days ago it was one of those days. You know the kind, no one wants to do school (including you), one's pitching a fit because there weren't fair turns, another has a miraculous stomach ache that is instantly cured at the mention of ice cream, still another won't let you brush her hair, and the toddlers are no where to be found, but they are for sure destroying something. By the end of the day the house is a wreck, you are a wreck and you've made at least half of your kids cry at some point in the day. Yeah, we had one of those days.
By evening I was sure I was not cut out for this homeschooling bit. A friend asked, "have you thought about public school?" Ha, have I thought about it? Are you kidding? Only like every five minutes! But then, I really started thinking about it and started praying about it. I got a little scared. I honestly couldn't say I didn't want to put them in school.
God is so good to answer prayers! The very next morning a friend sent me a link to a homeschool mom's blog and it was shocking how similar her experience was to mine. She'd had one of those days, too. Sometimes, it's just nice to know someone else out there is experiencing the same thing you are, isn't it? The very next day we were at the marriage conference and I was reminded that this is a season of life and it won't last forever, that each year it will change and the kids will grow older.
And today the Lord reminded me through two very good friends that I didn't pick homeschooling because it was the easy way out but because it is what the Lord wants for our family. And I was reminded that even if I put the kids in school, my attitude is still mine to control and I can't let circumstances determine how I will act. Amazingly enough our attitude follows us, even if situations change and we have to decide if we are going to act in a God-honoring way or out of our own selfish desires and wants.
So, even though it's been one of those weeks, I am determined to do what God wants me to and I am determined to have an attitude that glorifies Him.
And now I have to wrap it up, because there are two little girls crying at my feet to be put to bed. Here goes, good attitude and all!!!
By evening I was sure I was not cut out for this homeschooling bit. A friend asked, "have you thought about public school?" Ha, have I thought about it? Are you kidding? Only like every five minutes! But then, I really started thinking about it and started praying about it. I got a little scared. I honestly couldn't say I didn't want to put them in school.
God is so good to answer prayers! The very next morning a friend sent me a link to a homeschool mom's blog and it was shocking how similar her experience was to mine. She'd had one of those days, too. Sometimes, it's just nice to know someone else out there is experiencing the same thing you are, isn't it? The very next day we were at the marriage conference and I was reminded that this is a season of life and it won't last forever, that each year it will change and the kids will grow older.
And today the Lord reminded me through two very good friends that I didn't pick homeschooling because it was the easy way out but because it is what the Lord wants for our family. And I was reminded that even if I put the kids in school, my attitude is still mine to control and I can't let circumstances determine how I will act. Amazingly enough our attitude follows us, even if situations change and we have to decide if we are going to act in a God-honoring way or out of our own selfish desires and wants.
So, even though it's been one of those weeks, I am determined to do what God wants me to and I am determined to have an attitude that glorifies Him.
And now I have to wrap it up, because there are two little girls crying at my feet to be put to bed. Here goes, good attitude and all!!!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
You can't make this stuff up!
So, hubby and I went to a marriage conference today. Just a one day, cram it all in kind of deal. We actually won the tickets to attend by winning the most games at a couples' date night not long ago! We were excited to go, having attended it last year as well.
We heard all sorts of great things, but one that stuck out the most to both of us was the need to put our relationship before work and kids. I think it resonated with us so much because the couple that expressed this need were much like us. They were married a little longer than us, but had six kids. They are Kirk and Chelsea Cameron. Kirk had realized he was putting work first and Chelsea had realized she was putting the kids first and they just met along the way once in a while. Boy, could we relate.
Well, we got home at around 4, relieved the sitters (yes, more than one) and started to do what needed to be done, like usual. We ran some errands which all revolved around the kids and their school - books from the library, fish from the pet store (for science), and a game from Kmart. We got home, fed them all dinner, and started baths.
Here's where the irony of it all comes in! As I'm bathing the little ones and Andrew's cleaning dinner up, the older two are racing through the house, the middle two are getting soaked "helping" mom in the bathroom. I got the little ones out and sent them on their way to start the middle two. In the midst of that, Andrew comes into the bathroom holding a fish tank kind of cock-eyed and with wide eyes and a panicked expression asks, "what temperature does the water need to be for the fish?"
"What?" is all I can muster. Here he is with about two tablespoons of water left in the tank and holding it so all the water has run to one corner and there in lies the fish with no room to move. "Room temperature," I reply, confused. Turns out the toddler had decided she needed to see what that was, moving around in there and had dumped it all over the school room. Oh yes, it's a carpeted room, no less.
Not five minutes after that, the twin girls are found downstairs sitting side by side on the couch watching the Olympics, each munching on an apple. We have no inkling of where they got those apples, but they had whittled them down to the cores and were happy as could be. Needless to say, it became bedtime for them.
Andrew looked at me and all he could say was, "Boy it's been a trying day for parenting. And we were gone for most of it!" So true.
Are there days when it isn't trying, when it doesn't take every ounce of energy from your body? Are there days when we don't turn to each other and say, "What have we gotten into?" No, there aren't. And although it's taxing, it's painful, and it seems never-ending, for some reason we wouldn't want it any other way.
We still have work to do to get our relationship first, especially in the midst of the craziness that is our life. And we won't get it right for a while, I'm sure. But, the great part is, when we have nothing left to give our spouse because we've given it all to others or other things, we can turn to Jesus and he'll fill us up. Then we can turn back to our spouse and give from a reservoir that we didn't realize we had. Thank you, Jesus.
We heard all sorts of great things, but one that stuck out the most to both of us was the need to put our relationship before work and kids. I think it resonated with us so much because the couple that expressed this need were much like us. They were married a little longer than us, but had six kids. They are Kirk and Chelsea Cameron. Kirk had realized he was putting work first and Chelsea had realized she was putting the kids first and they just met along the way once in a while. Boy, could we relate.
Well, we got home at around 4, relieved the sitters (yes, more than one) and started to do what needed to be done, like usual. We ran some errands which all revolved around the kids and their school - books from the library, fish from the pet store (for science), and a game from Kmart. We got home, fed them all dinner, and started baths.
Here's where the irony of it all comes in! As I'm bathing the little ones and Andrew's cleaning dinner up, the older two are racing through the house, the middle two are getting soaked "helping" mom in the bathroom. I got the little ones out and sent them on their way to start the middle two. In the midst of that, Andrew comes into the bathroom holding a fish tank kind of cock-eyed and with wide eyes and a panicked expression asks, "what temperature does the water need to be for the fish?"
"What?" is all I can muster. Here he is with about two tablespoons of water left in the tank and holding it so all the water has run to one corner and there in lies the fish with no room to move. "Room temperature," I reply, confused. Turns out the toddler had decided she needed to see what that was, moving around in there and had dumped it all over the school room. Oh yes, it's a carpeted room, no less.
Not five minutes after that, the twin girls are found downstairs sitting side by side on the couch watching the Olympics, each munching on an apple. We have no inkling of where they got those apples, but they had whittled them down to the cores and were happy as could be. Needless to say, it became bedtime for them.
Andrew looked at me and all he could say was, "Boy it's been a trying day for parenting. And we were gone for most of it!" So true.
Are there days when it isn't trying, when it doesn't take every ounce of energy from your body? Are there days when we don't turn to each other and say, "What have we gotten into?" No, there aren't. And although it's taxing, it's painful, and it seems never-ending, for some reason we wouldn't want it any other way.
We still have work to do to get our relationship first, especially in the midst of the craziness that is our life. And we won't get it right for a while, I'm sure. But, the great part is, when we have nothing left to give our spouse because we've given it all to others or other things, we can turn to Jesus and he'll fill us up. Then we can turn back to our spouse and give from a reservoir that we didn't realize we had. Thank you, Jesus.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
