Growing Up

    I remember when my mom turned thirty. I was about eight and I thought she was soooo old! I couldn't believe anyone could be thirty. I also couldn't see myself ever getting that old!
   Now, I'm thirty and last summer when I turned thirty my boys, who were eight, told my I was soooo old! How the tides have turned. I thought to myself, it's not that old.
   Often I think, I'm not old enough to have six kids! I have a friend with teenagers and she said she doesn't feel old enough to have kids that old! I guess it just sneaks up on you whether you're ready for it or not.
    This summer my youngest are about to turn two and my oldest about to turn nine! I don't feel old enough for that either. It's bittersweet too, watching them grow up so fast. People often told me, enjoy it, it goes by fast. And, especially when the oldest were really little, I'd think, it sure isn't going by fast right now! And yet, look at it now. There aren't any babies in the house anymore and my boys are moving close to double digits!
   Last night I gave my two year olds haircuts and bangs. It instantly made them look so much older and I realized they aren't babies anymore. They've somehow, under the radar, turned into little girls. I feel I missed it somewhere, with everything that goes on here. Right under my nose they are all growing up.
   Last week my five year old got glasses and boy, did that make her look grown up, and adorable. But again, I thought, I still have vivid memories of rocking her as a baby and now she's going on six and about to start kindergarten.
   So, whether I'm old enough or not, that's life! It is true, that it goes by in the blink of an eye and you look back wondering where did the time go? You and I have heard it before, but I'll say it again, better enjoy it, it goes by way too fast.

Left-over sin

2 Kings 10:28-29  So Jehu destroyed Baal worship in Israel. However, he did not turn away from the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, which he had caused Israel to commi - the worship of golden calves at Bethel and Dan.

  This struck me today as I was reading. Jehu worked so hard at getting rid of Baal worship. He even used deception to get all the Baal priests in one temple to kill them. He spent time on this and energy and money. Yet when all was said and done, it wasn't really all said and done. For some reason he was okay with the golden calf worship and didn't see the need to rid Israel of that. At one point before he killed all the Baal priests, he said to someone, "Come, see my zeal for the Lord". His zeal was obviously not that full of zeal.
   It made me think, though, about myself. How many left over sins do I have? Do I spend time and energy getting rid of one sin and then think, good, that's done? What or who am I truly worshiping?
   I don't like to dwell overly on sin because I know I'm forgiven and Christ has paid for those sins. I don't need to beat myself up over them continually, but I do need to confess them and move away from them. I also need to ask my Lord what I'm hanging on to that needs to go.
   Thankfully, He is gracious and forgiving and will reveal what I need to purge and give me the strength to do it.  He doesn't want us to have left-overs anymore than we do!
  

Victory!

This whole week I've felt just down, kind of blah. I couldn't really pinpoint it but everything had me discouraged. Nothing big, but just little things all week. Last week we went to the eye doctor and my eyes got worse and I'm still trying to find contacts that will work right. And Olivia needs glasses. Our van had just broken down and needed major repairs, and it's been raining for what feels like a month!
Well last night I was supposed to go to Bible study and every thought I had was against going. But I picked myself up and grabbed my stuff and fought the urge to stay home. Let me tell you, I'm so glad I did. It was exactly what I needed. I spent two hours with people I love, talking about the Lord I love and laughing hard, which is great medicine for a down-trodden spirit.
   As I got into the car to drive home the perfect song came on the radio. I thought, Thank you, Lord, for bringing me to group tonight, thank you for this song. It's exactly what I needed.
   When I got home I was feeling a little better and as I laid down in bed it dawned on me. This is spiritual warfare. Satan wants me to feel discouraged and cut off from friends. He wants me to feel alone in this world so that he can get at my heart. I don't know why it took me four or five days, but hey, I'm a little slow, okay!
   I prayed in the name of Jesus for Satan to leave and took away all his power over my thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and relinquished every burden I'd been holding on to, to my all powerful God. And an amazing thing happened. I felt amazingly better and not only that but light as a feather as if a huge weight was lifted from me.
   I hope next time I feel down and discouraged I remember a little quicker that I can call on my Lord and he will rescue me. There's nothing better than knowing we can have victory every time over Satan because of our great God! Thank you, God, that you are an all powerful, ever present God, who knows my needs and how to rescue me!

Not Really Home

Lately I've been craving Germany. It may sound odd, to crave a place. But to me Germany is my second home. It's, first of all, my birthplace which makes it special in my heart. There are memories built there over the years and the many trips back and there is family there that I see once every two or three or four years.
   These days everything has been reminding me of Germany. I'll smell a flower and think, oh, that fragrance is right on the street where my Oma lives. Or I'll taste a food and it will bring my back to Oma's dining table. A sound or a sight of rolling hills will spark images in my mind of places I've seen and visited there.
   Of course, when I'm there, I miss Minnesota and all my family here. There's never a true contentment in either place. I often wish I could mold the two places together side by side and have the best of both worlds.
   As I thought about this and was missing Germany I was reminded of something a friend told me. As she was moving from one state to another and was having a really hard time with it, a friend of her's told her something so simple yet so profound. "You know," she said, "neither place is really home."
  Isn't that the truth? If we truly love our God and know our place after death, no where on this earth is truly home. We will never feel a true contentment because our hearts know where home is and we aren't there yet. It helps close the gap of over 3000 miles on days when I miss Germany to remember that it's not really home, nor is Northfield, Minnesota. My true home is heaven and while I wait anxiously to go there and be home, I will serve my Lord here for as long as He'll let me.
¹⁹"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21