Anniversary

Today we are celebrating 12 years of marriage. I woke up this morning thinking about what I was doing 12 years ago today. Getting up early, eating on a nervous stomach, getting my hair done, lunch that my wonderful German aunts made, then pictures, ceremony, and party! It was all such a blur, moving so fast.
  There are two moments when I remember time standing still. The first was when my bridesmaids had finished helping me get ready and left to find Andrew. He came in to see me for the first time and it was just the two of us. I just remember the look on his face, one that I still see often today. His expression told me how beautiful I was and how much he loved me. It did seem like time stood still for a little while there.
   The second was when the party was over and we finally had made it to the hotel. We plopped on the bed, utterly exhausted and stared at the ceiling. We both said, "Can you believe it, we're married!"
   Now, 12 years later, we often don't say, "can you believe it, we're married!". Now we often say, "Can you believe it, we have six kids!" Boy, what 12 years can do!
   We got married young. I was 18 and Andrew was 21 and there were people who were sure we wouldn't last more than a year. And, unfortunately for a lot of people that's the case. They get married young, think they have it all figured out and then realize, it's a lot more work than they first thought. We went through that too. Thinking, no problem, this will be easy. Then realizing that marriage is actually hard and takes work. In fact, we're still trying to figure it all out.
   But the difference is this: we went into marriage without the word divorce. We had promised each other, ourselves, and God that we would never use the word divorce and we've stuck to it. We have had our fair share of arguments and being angry with each other. But we've never even thought of throwing in the towel. No matter how hard it is, we stick it out together. And we've had more good times than bad in our marriage.
   So now, 12 years later, we love each other more than we did on our wedding day, we know a little more about how to get along, and we are enjoying our crazy, chaotic, life together!
   Thanks be to God for his glorious riches and abundant love and wisdom that he so willingly pours out on us so that we can glorify him and make it through this life victorious.

A Kid's Perspective

One afternoon last week as I was preparing supper, I heard Olivia and Elliot coaxing Evelyn and Madelyn up the stairs. I started to listen in and they were saying, "Come on girls, do you want to read the Bible in Mom's room?" This got me intrigued so I watched as Olivia, carrying the big hardcover Bible, led the pack down the hallway into my room. I crept around the corner to listen to the conversation. Olivia and Elliot were helping the little girls get up on my bed, then they all sat together and opened the Bible.
Olivia started telling the story. "We're going to read a story about Jesus today,"she said.
Elliot: "There are bad guys in the story too."
Olivia: "You're right. What did the bad guys do to Jesus?"
Elliot: "They punched him."
Olivia: "You're right. What else did the bad guys do to Jesus?"
Elliot: "They took all his clothes until he was naked."
Olivia: "Yeah, so he was naked. Okay, now it's time for bed."
At that they all cuddled up under the covers together and pretended to go to sleep.

I laughed so hard I cried. It was all so sweet and sincere. And totally a kid's perspective of the whole Gospel. Amazingly, they understand so much already at 5 and 3. It doesn't take much and these small children start to grasp the truth.

I am not a patient person

I hear that a lot when I talk to people about home schooling. "I'm not patient enough." "I clash too much with my child." The excuses are endless, but all along this theme of patience.
   Let me tell you, I am not a patient person. In fact, I'm one of the least patient people I know. I have a short fuse and a big temper. I get frustrated easily and snap. I get frustrated when someone doesn't get a concept right away. I get annoyed when another child interrupts. I get irate when someone cries over having to do a difficult task. In short, I am not a patient person.
   And yet, strangely, the Lord has not let me use that as an excuse. In fact, I think part of the reason I've been called to home school is to learn patience. What better way than to be thrown into every possible situation in one day that would make me lose my patience! Believe me I have a lot to learn. I may never get to that place where I can even say "I am patient". But the Lord keeps working on me and teaching me through home schooling. I wouldn't miss this refinement for the world.
  When you look at this statement as an excuse from people, in light of reasons to home school, it really seems quite lame.There are endless reasons to set yourself aside and let the Lord work through you. We have to realize it's not about me, or even my kids, but about Kingdom work and eternal life. 
   I'm not patient, but I want my kids to know their Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. I'm clash with one of my kids, A LOT, but I don't want to conform to the pattern of this world or allow my kids to do so. I get frustrated easily, but it's teaching me how to sincerely say sorry and teaching all of us how to relate to one another. My days are filled with stress, annoyance, impatience, but they are also filled with victories, joy, and unity. Those outweigh impatience.
    In my humble opinion, home schooling is not the easy way, but it's the best way. Maybe I'm a little biased. So I'm a biased, hot tempered, impatient home schooler. Yet for some reason, the Lord picked me to do it, and not only to home school, but with six kids! Guess you don't have to be perfect or even patient to do the Lord's work.

Who do you work for?

Hebrews 10: ³⁵So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. ³⁶You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised

All too often I fall into the mindset of being under appreciated and just plain forgotten about. Here I am at home, serving little people all day who rarely say thanks or clean up after themselves and have no idea how many minutes I spend cleaning up after them. I don't get paid and don't get regular vacation time. The last time I was too sick to take care of the kids, I still had to do it, because hubby couldn't leave work to come home! I spend my days wiping dirty faces, playing referee in arguments, reasoning with those who can't reason, cleaning a house that finds itself trashed minutes later, cooking meals everyone hates and complains about but I know are good for them, and finally falling exhausted into bed to start over the next day.
   Not only that, but I have a very, very determined and headstrong child who has a quota to fill each day of testing and pushing the limits, which makes for a very crabby mommy. And I'm pretty sure that most of the time my six kids don't speak English, or they have a very tuned and finely exacted gift of ignoring!
   The list goes on and on. In the midst of it all it's a wonder I haven't gone completely insane! Some days I feel close to it. But there is one thing that keeps me going. The Lord has been impressing on my heart lately to persevere and endure. Over and over in my quiet times He has been saying, keep going, don't give up, there is a reward at the end, persevere! And I have been slowly hiding that away in my heart to change and refine my perspective on this life.
   Maybe no one appreciates me, but if I persevere, there will be rewards much greater than anything on earth. Maybe my house is a disaster, but if I persevere, I won't be. Maybe my kids get an A+ for disobeying, but if I persevere, they will walk in the truth and follow hard after their God.
   There are days when this concept is lost in the chaos of this house! But as the Lord works on me and continues to refine me, it is becoming more and more of the central theme of this house. Persevere and there will be rich rewards at the end.
   So, who do I work for? It's not my kids, my husband, my friends. It's my great God, the only true God, and the only one who can offer eternal rewards.