Love like you love

Recently my prayer for myself has been, "Lord, help me love the way you love." Seems like a simple thing to do, yet it's so difficult to actually accomplish. I started wondering about a month after praying this prayer what was wrong with me. Why couldn't I love the way Jesus loves and asks me to love?
    As I pondered this I started asking the Lord what the obstacle was in my heart that prevented me from loving freely, besides the obvious sinful nature we all struggle with. And our Lord is so good to us and is faithful to answer our prayers, especially when they focus around his will for our lives. He gently revealed to me right over Mother's Day that I still had things I needed to work through from my mom's death. After eight years I honestly believed I was over it and had it all worked out.
   Our Lord knows when to reveal certain things to us, and is so good in that he doesn't bombard us with it all at once, but slowly and gently leads us through it.
    The revelation was simple yet profound. There was an unconscious, unexpressed fear in my heart. I had never recognized this fear or even thought of it as a possibility. I generally view myself as a person without many fears, so it took me a bit by surprise. The Lord showed me I was afraid that those I loved dearly and openly would then be taken from me and therefore I refrained from loving them like the Lord does. 
    The Lord is still gently leading me through this obstacle in my life. Recognition of it has been a huge leap in loving others like He does, and He's revealing to me the importance of putting my all into loving others and setting aside the thoughts of losing those people. The saying, it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all rings in my mind. It may sound cliche but it is true. After all, why else were we put on this earth than to love like Jesus.