Today we are celebrating 12 years of marriage. I woke up this morning thinking about what I was doing 12 years ago today. Getting up early, eating on a nervous stomach, getting my hair done, lunch that my wonderful German aunts made, then pictures, ceremony, and party! It was all such a blur, moving so fast.
There are two moments when I remember time standing still. The first was when my bridesmaids had finished helping me get ready and left to find Andrew. He came in to see me for the first time and it was just the two of us. I just remember the look on his face, one that I still see often today. His expression told me how beautiful I was and how much he loved me. It did seem like time stood still for a little while there.
The second was when the party was over and we finally had made it to the hotel. We plopped on the bed, utterly exhausted and stared at the ceiling. We both said, "Can you believe it, we're married!"
Now, 12 years later, we often don't say, "can you believe it, we're married!". Now we often say, "Can you believe it, we have six kids!" Boy, what 12 years can do!
We got married young. I was 18 and Andrew was 21 and there were people who were sure we wouldn't last more than a year. And, unfortunately for a lot of people that's the case. They get married young, think they have it all figured out and then realize, it's a lot more work than they first thought. We went through that too. Thinking, no problem, this will be easy. Then realizing that marriage is actually hard and takes work. In fact, we're still trying to figure it all out.
But the difference is this: we went into marriage without the word divorce. We had promised each other, ourselves, and God that we would never use the word divorce and we've stuck to it. We have had our fair share of arguments and being angry with each other. But we've never even thought of throwing in the towel. No matter how hard it is, we stick it out together. And we've had more good times than bad in our marriage.
So now, 12 years later, we love each other more than we did on our wedding day, we know a little more about how to get along, and we are enjoying our crazy, chaotic, life together!
Thanks be to God for his glorious riches and abundant love and wisdom that he so willingly pours out on us so that we can glorify him and make it through this life victorious.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
A Kid's Perspective
One afternoon last week as I was preparing supper, I heard Olivia and Elliot coaxing Evelyn and Madelyn up the stairs. I started to listen in and they were saying, "Come on girls, do you want to read the Bible in Mom's room?" This got me intrigued so I watched as Olivia, carrying the big hardcover Bible, led the pack down the hallway into my room. I crept around the corner to listen to the conversation. Olivia and Elliot were helping the little girls get up on my bed, then they all sat together and opened the Bible.
Olivia started telling the story. "We're going to read a story about Jesus today,"she said.
Elliot: "There are bad guys in the story too."
Olivia: "You're right. What did the bad guys do to Jesus?"
Elliot: "They punched him."
Olivia: "You're right. What else did the bad guys do to Jesus?"
Elliot: "They took all his clothes until he was naked."
Olivia: "Yeah, so he was naked. Okay, now it's time for bed."
At that they all cuddled up under the covers together and pretended to go to sleep.
I laughed so hard I cried. It was all so sweet and sincere. And totally a kid's perspective of the whole Gospel. Amazingly, they understand so much already at 5 and 3. It doesn't take much and these small children start to grasp the truth.
Olivia started telling the story. "We're going to read a story about Jesus today,"she said.
Elliot: "There are bad guys in the story too."
Olivia: "You're right. What did the bad guys do to Jesus?"
Elliot: "They punched him."
Olivia: "You're right. What else did the bad guys do to Jesus?"
Elliot: "They took all his clothes until he was naked."
Olivia: "Yeah, so he was naked. Okay, now it's time for bed."
At that they all cuddled up under the covers together and pretended to go to sleep.
I laughed so hard I cried. It was all so sweet and sincere. And totally a kid's perspective of the whole Gospel. Amazingly, they understand so much already at 5 and 3. It doesn't take much and these small children start to grasp the truth.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
I am not a patient person
I hear that a lot when I talk to people about home schooling. "I'm not patient enough." "I clash too much with my child." The excuses are endless, but all along this theme of patience.
Let me tell you, I am not a patient person. In fact, I'm one of the least patient people I know. I have a short fuse and a big temper. I get frustrated easily and snap. I get frustrated when someone doesn't get a concept right away. I get annoyed when another child interrupts. I get irate when someone cries over having to do a difficult task. In short, I am not a patient person.
And yet, strangely, the Lord has not let me use that as an excuse. In fact, I think part of the reason I've been called to home school is to learn patience. What better way than to be thrown into every possible situation in one day that would make me lose my patience! Believe me I have a lot to learn. I may never get to that place where I can even say "I am patient". But the Lord keeps working on me and teaching me through home schooling. I wouldn't miss this refinement for the world.
When you look at this statement as an excuse from people, in light of reasons to home school, it really seems quite lame.There are endless reasons to set yourself aside and let the Lord work through you. We have to realize it's not about me, or even my kids, but about Kingdom work and eternal life.
I'm not patient, but I want my kids to know their Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. I'm clash with one of my kids, A LOT, but I don't want to conform to the pattern of this world or allow my kids to do so. I get frustrated easily, but it's teaching me how to sincerely say sorry and teaching all of us how to relate to one another. My days are filled with stress, annoyance, impatience, but they are also filled with victories, joy, and unity. Those outweigh impatience.
In my humble opinion, home schooling is not the easy way, but it's the best way. Maybe I'm a little biased. So I'm a biased, hot tempered, impatient home schooler. Yet for some reason, the Lord picked me to do it, and not only to home school, but with six kids! Guess you don't have to be perfect or even patient to do the Lord's work.
Let me tell you, I am not a patient person. In fact, I'm one of the least patient people I know. I have a short fuse and a big temper. I get frustrated easily and snap. I get frustrated when someone doesn't get a concept right away. I get annoyed when another child interrupts. I get irate when someone cries over having to do a difficult task. In short, I am not a patient person.
And yet, strangely, the Lord has not let me use that as an excuse. In fact, I think part of the reason I've been called to home school is to learn patience. What better way than to be thrown into every possible situation in one day that would make me lose my patience! Believe me I have a lot to learn. I may never get to that place where I can even say "I am patient". But the Lord keeps working on me and teaching me through home schooling. I wouldn't miss this refinement for the world.
When you look at this statement as an excuse from people, in light of reasons to home school, it really seems quite lame.There are endless reasons to set yourself aside and let the Lord work through you. We have to realize it's not about me, or even my kids, but about Kingdom work and eternal life.
I'm not patient, but I want my kids to know their Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. I'm clash with one of my kids, A LOT, but I don't want to conform to the pattern of this world or allow my kids to do so. I get frustrated easily, but it's teaching me how to sincerely say sorry and teaching all of us how to relate to one another. My days are filled with stress, annoyance, impatience, but they are also filled with victories, joy, and unity. Those outweigh impatience.
In my humble opinion, home schooling is not the easy way, but it's the best way. Maybe I'm a little biased. So I'm a biased, hot tempered, impatient home schooler. Yet for some reason, the Lord picked me to do it, and not only to home school, but with six kids! Guess you don't have to be perfect or even patient to do the Lord's work.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Who do you work for?
Hebrews 10: 35So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised
All too often I fall into the mindset of being under appreciated and just plain forgotten about. Here I am at home, serving little people all day who rarely say thanks or clean up after themselves and have no idea how many minutes I spend cleaning up after them. I don't get paid and don't get regular vacation time. The last time I was too sick to take care of the kids, I still had to do it, because hubby couldn't leave work to come home! I spend my days wiping dirty faces, playing referee in arguments, reasoning with those who can't reason, cleaning a house that finds itself trashed minutes later, cooking meals everyone hates and complains about but I know are good for them, and finally falling exhausted into bed to start over the next day.
Not only that, but I have a very, very determined and headstrong child who has a quota to fill each day of testing and pushing the limits, which makes for a very crabby mommy. And I'm pretty sure that most of the time my six kids don't speak English, or they have a very tuned and finely exacted gift of ignoring!
The list goes on and on. In the midst of it all it's a wonder I haven't gone completely insane! Some days I feel close to it. But there is one thing that keeps me going. The Lord has been impressing on my heart lately to persevere and endure. Over and over in my quiet times He has been saying, keep going, don't give up, there is a reward at the end, persevere! And I have been slowly hiding that away in my heart to change and refine my perspective on this life.
Maybe no one appreciates me, but if I persevere, there will be rewards much greater than anything on earth. Maybe my house is a disaster, but if I persevere, I won't be. Maybe my kids get an A+ for disobeying, but if I persevere, they will walk in the truth and follow hard after their God.
There are days when this concept is lost in the chaos of this house! But as the Lord works on me and continues to refine me, it is becoming more and more of the central theme of this house. Persevere and there will be rich rewards at the end.
So, who do I work for? It's not my kids, my husband, my friends. It's my great God, the only true God, and the only one who can offer eternal rewards.
All too often I fall into the mindset of being under appreciated and just plain forgotten about. Here I am at home, serving little people all day who rarely say thanks or clean up after themselves and have no idea how many minutes I spend cleaning up after them. I don't get paid and don't get regular vacation time. The last time I was too sick to take care of the kids, I still had to do it, because hubby couldn't leave work to come home! I spend my days wiping dirty faces, playing referee in arguments, reasoning with those who can't reason, cleaning a house that finds itself trashed minutes later, cooking meals everyone hates and complains about but I know are good for them, and finally falling exhausted into bed to start over the next day.
Not only that, but I have a very, very determined and headstrong child who has a quota to fill each day of testing and pushing the limits, which makes for a very crabby mommy. And I'm pretty sure that most of the time my six kids don't speak English, or they have a very tuned and finely exacted gift of ignoring!
The list goes on and on. In the midst of it all it's a wonder I haven't gone completely insane! Some days I feel close to it. But there is one thing that keeps me going. The Lord has been impressing on my heart lately to persevere and endure. Over and over in my quiet times He has been saying, keep going, don't give up, there is a reward at the end, persevere! And I have been slowly hiding that away in my heart to change and refine my perspective on this life.
Maybe no one appreciates me, but if I persevere, there will be rewards much greater than anything on earth. Maybe my house is a disaster, but if I persevere, I won't be. Maybe my kids get an A+ for disobeying, but if I persevere, they will walk in the truth and follow hard after their God.
There are days when this concept is lost in the chaos of this house! But as the Lord works on me and continues to refine me, it is becoming more and more of the central theme of this house. Persevere and there will be rich rewards at the end.
So, who do I work for? It's not my kids, my husband, my friends. It's my great God, the only true God, and the only one who can offer eternal rewards.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Growing Up
I remember when my mom turned thirty. I was about eight and I thought she was soooo old! I couldn't believe anyone could be thirty. I also couldn't see myself ever getting that old!
Now, I'm thirty and last summer when I turned thirty my boys, who were eight, told my I was soooo old! How the tides have turned. I thought to myself, it's not that old.
Often I think, I'm not old enough to have six kids! I have a friend with teenagers and she said she doesn't feel old enough to have kids that old! I guess it just sneaks up on you whether you're ready for it or not.
This summer my youngest are about to turn two and my oldest about to turn nine! I don't feel old enough for that either. It's bittersweet too, watching them grow up so fast. People often told me, enjoy it, it goes by fast. And, especially when the oldest were really little, I'd think, it sure isn't going by fast right now! And yet, look at it now. There aren't any babies in the house anymore and my boys are moving close to double digits!
Last night I gave my two year olds haircuts and bangs. It instantly made them look so much older and I realized they aren't babies anymore. They've somehow, under the radar, turned into little girls. I feel I missed it somewhere, with everything that goes on here. Right under my nose they are all growing up.
Last week my five year old got glasses and boy, did that make her look grown up, and adorable. But again, I thought, I still have vivid memories of rocking her as a baby and now she's going on six and about to start kindergarten.
So, whether I'm old enough or not, that's life! It is true, that it goes by in the blink of an eye and you look back wondering where did the time go? You and I have heard it before, but I'll say it again, better enjoy it, it goes by way too fast.
Now, I'm thirty and last summer when I turned thirty my boys, who were eight, told my I was soooo old! How the tides have turned. I thought to myself, it's not that old.
Often I think, I'm not old enough to have six kids! I have a friend with teenagers and she said she doesn't feel old enough to have kids that old! I guess it just sneaks up on you whether you're ready for it or not.
This summer my youngest are about to turn two and my oldest about to turn nine! I don't feel old enough for that either. It's bittersweet too, watching them grow up so fast. People often told me, enjoy it, it goes by fast. And, especially when the oldest were really little, I'd think, it sure isn't going by fast right now! And yet, look at it now. There aren't any babies in the house anymore and my boys are moving close to double digits!
Last night I gave my two year olds haircuts and bangs. It instantly made them look so much older and I realized they aren't babies anymore. They've somehow, under the radar, turned into little girls. I feel I missed it somewhere, with everything that goes on here. Right under my nose they are all growing up.
Last week my five year old got glasses and boy, did that make her look grown up, and adorable. But again, I thought, I still have vivid memories of rocking her as a baby and now she's going on six and about to start kindergarten.
So, whether I'm old enough or not, that's life! It is true, that it goes by in the blink of an eye and you look back wondering where did the time go? You and I have heard it before, but I'll say it again, better enjoy it, it goes by way too fast.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Left-over sin
2 Kings 10:28-29 So Jehu destroyed Baal worship in Israel. However, he did not turn away from the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, which he had caused Israel to commi - the worship of golden calves at Bethel and Dan.
This struck me today as I was reading. Jehu worked so hard at getting rid of Baal worship. He even used deception to get all the Baal priests in one temple to kill them. He spent time on this and energy and money. Yet when all was said and done, it wasn't really all said and done. For some reason he was okay with the golden calf worship and didn't see the need to rid Israel of that. At one point before he killed all the Baal priests, he said to someone, "Come, see my zeal for the Lord". His zeal was obviously not that full of zeal.
It made me think, though, about myself. How many left over sins do I have? Do I spend time and energy getting rid of one sin and then think, good, that's done? What or who am I truly worshiping?
I don't like to dwell overly on sin because I know I'm forgiven and Christ has paid for those sins. I don't need to beat myself up over them continually, but I do need to confess them and move away from them. I also need to ask my Lord what I'm hanging on to that needs to go.
Thankfully, He is gracious and forgiving and will reveal what I need to purge and give me the strength to do it. He doesn't want us to have left-overs anymore than we do!
This struck me today as I was reading. Jehu worked so hard at getting rid of Baal worship. He even used deception to get all the Baal priests in one temple to kill them. He spent time on this and energy and money. Yet when all was said and done, it wasn't really all said and done. For some reason he was okay with the golden calf worship and didn't see the need to rid Israel of that. At one point before he killed all the Baal priests, he said to someone, "Come, see my zeal for the Lord". His zeal was obviously not that full of zeal.
It made me think, though, about myself. How many left over sins do I have? Do I spend time and energy getting rid of one sin and then think, good, that's done? What or who am I truly worshiping?
I don't like to dwell overly on sin because I know I'm forgiven and Christ has paid for those sins. I don't need to beat myself up over them continually, but I do need to confess them and move away from them. I also need to ask my Lord what I'm hanging on to that needs to go.
Thankfully, He is gracious and forgiving and will reveal what I need to purge and give me the strength to do it. He doesn't want us to have left-overs anymore than we do!
Friday, June 11, 2010
Victory!
This whole week I've felt just down, kind of blah. I couldn't really pinpoint it but everything had me discouraged. Nothing big, but just little things all week. Last week we went to the eye doctor and my eyes got worse and I'm still trying to find contacts that will work right. And Olivia needs glasses. Our van had just broken down and needed major repairs, and it's been raining for what feels like a month!
Well last night I was supposed to go to Bible study and every thought I had was against going. But I picked myself up and grabbed my stuff and fought the urge to stay home. Let me tell you, I'm so glad I did. It was exactly what I needed. I spent two hours with people I love, talking about the Lord I love and laughing hard, which is great medicine for a down-trodden spirit.
As I got into the car to drive home the perfect song came on the radio. I thought, Thank you, Lord, for bringing me to group tonight, thank you for this song. It's exactly what I needed.
When I got home I was feeling a little better and as I laid down in bed it dawned on me. This is spiritual warfare. Satan wants me to feel discouraged and cut off from friends. He wants me to feel alone in this world so that he can get at my heart. I don't know why it took me four or five days, but hey, I'm a little slow, okay!
I prayed in the name of Jesus for Satan to leave and took away all his power over my thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and relinquished every burden I'd been holding on to, to my all powerful God. And an amazing thing happened. I felt amazingly better and not only that but light as a feather as if a huge weight was lifted from me.
I hope next time I feel down and discouraged I remember a little quicker that I can call on my Lord and he will rescue me. There's nothing better than knowing we can have victory every time over Satan because of our great God! Thank you, God, that you are an all powerful, ever present God, who knows my needs and how to rescue me!
Well last night I was supposed to go to Bible study and every thought I had was against going. But I picked myself up and grabbed my stuff and fought the urge to stay home. Let me tell you, I'm so glad I did. It was exactly what I needed. I spent two hours with people I love, talking about the Lord I love and laughing hard, which is great medicine for a down-trodden spirit.
As I got into the car to drive home the perfect song came on the radio. I thought, Thank you, Lord, for bringing me to group tonight, thank you for this song. It's exactly what I needed.
When I got home I was feeling a little better and as I laid down in bed it dawned on me. This is spiritual warfare. Satan wants me to feel discouraged and cut off from friends. He wants me to feel alone in this world so that he can get at my heart. I don't know why it took me four or five days, but hey, I'm a little slow, okay!
I prayed in the name of Jesus for Satan to leave and took away all his power over my thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and relinquished every burden I'd been holding on to, to my all powerful God. And an amazing thing happened. I felt amazingly better and not only that but light as a feather as if a huge weight was lifted from me.
I hope next time I feel down and discouraged I remember a little quicker that I can call on my Lord and he will rescue me. There's nothing better than knowing we can have victory every time over Satan because of our great God! Thank you, God, that you are an all powerful, ever present God, who knows my needs and how to rescue me!
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