These last couple of months have been very difficult financially for us. We used up our savings in January to help pay for our mortgage. We've always used savings as a sort of second income, drawing from it each month to make it by. Well we had some unexpected expenses and found ourselves a couple months short, before the tax return would come in.
As we pondered this issue and realized there was no possible way to make that amount of money before our next payment in February was due, we started to pray. Not just simple prayers, but heartfelt cries to God. We found scripture promising he would take care of us and meditated on that as we prayed. Each moment of my day was filled with quiet prayers, asking God to provide just what we need. We also asked a few close friends to pray with us, knowing they would lift us up to Him.
Within a week of praying we received a monetary gift, more than half of what we would need for February. A week later we received another, the exact amount left that we needed! I was on my knees when that check came, crying, laughing, and praising Him from whom all blessings flow. My kids wondered if I'd gone off the deep end. "You okay, Mama?" "Don't worry", I told them, "Mama's happy not sad, these are happy tears."
I called Andrew to tell him what happened and he was completely speechless. We were in awe of God's greatness. He, who made the heavens and the earth and everything on the earth, cared enough about our little problem to show up big time and provide in a great way! He cared so much he provided down to the very last dollar.
As we praised him and thanked him, we continued to pray for our March payment. Once again we were short, but this time it was a different sort of prayer. I wasn't crying out to God in my fear and nervousness, my stress level high and constantly wondering what was going to happen. This time I prayed with a sense of contentment and assurance. I knew, just knew, that He would do it again. Maybe not the same way, but I had complete confidence in my Lord. In fact, I often just said, "Thank you for providing what we need for March" even though he hadn't yet done anything.
Although I knew he would give us exactly what we needed, I was still surprised when yet another anonymous gift came to us. Half of our March payment! What a great God we serve! And just this week, we received the last half that we needed.
Not once did we have to borrow or ask others for money. Not once did we have to get behind on payments! Our God did exactly what He is so good at doing. He took care of those who love him!
These last two months haven't been easy. Our emotions and our doubts have at times taken over. But standing in this place, looking back, I can say it was well worth the trial. Our faith has been dramatically deepened, not because of anything we did, but all because of our great God and his works!
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Out of the Mouths of Babes
I recently started reading a book called "How to Really Love Your Child". I only made it through the first chapter before I had to stop and pray. I didn't want to just read this book like many others I've read and then forget the content shortly after. I wanted to really let it sink in, absorb, so I could make it useable. So, I just asked the Lord to help me really show love to my kids.
We know we love our kids. We probably say "I love you" everyday. But do we really show that we love them. Do they know without a doubt that we love them no matter what they do, no matter how they act, no matter how bad they mess up? This is my hearts desire. That my six children would know they are loved unconditionally and I know I need the Lord's help to accomplish that.
Well, the morning after this prayer we sat down for school as we do most mornings. And, as often happens, I got frustrated with my boys. I don't remember what it was about but I do remember snapping at them. The other children were in the room, coloring and playing. As I snapped at the boys, Olivia raised her head from her coloring page and sweetly said, "Mom, you're not supposed to yell at the boys."
She had no idea I'd prayed to the Lord to help me show love to my kids. She also had no idea the impact she made on me. I know in that moment the Lord spoke to me through a little six year old girl. One who often causes me more frustration than the other five combined! She struck a chord in me with that simple sentence. I had to stop and apologize to the boys and thank her for reminding me to show love to my kids.
I won't remember what made me angry. I won't even remember what I said, but I will always remember my little girl speaking words of wisdom to me in a moment when they were desperately needed.
Thank you, Lord, for your gift of intuition and unquestioning faith to young children. And thank you for answering my prayer so quickly and fully!
On this "love" holiday, don't just say, "I love you", show it. Happy Valentine's Day!
We know we love our kids. We probably say "I love you" everyday. But do we really show that we love them. Do they know without a doubt that we love them no matter what they do, no matter how they act, no matter how bad they mess up? This is my hearts desire. That my six children would know they are loved unconditionally and I know I need the Lord's help to accomplish that.
Well, the morning after this prayer we sat down for school as we do most mornings. And, as often happens, I got frustrated with my boys. I don't remember what it was about but I do remember snapping at them. The other children were in the room, coloring and playing. As I snapped at the boys, Olivia raised her head from her coloring page and sweetly said, "Mom, you're not supposed to yell at the boys."
She had no idea I'd prayed to the Lord to help me show love to my kids. She also had no idea the impact she made on me. I know in that moment the Lord spoke to me through a little six year old girl. One who often causes me more frustration than the other five combined! She struck a chord in me with that simple sentence. I had to stop and apologize to the boys and thank her for reminding me to show love to my kids.
I won't remember what made me angry. I won't even remember what I said, but I will always remember my little girl speaking words of wisdom to me in a moment when they were desperately needed.
Thank you, Lord, for your gift of intuition and unquestioning faith to young children. And thank you for answering my prayer so quickly and fully!
On this "love" holiday, don't just say, "I love you", show it. Happy Valentine's Day!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
The 12 Schwab Days of Christmas
Version 2010
12 days of sickness
11 boxes of Kleenex
10 bags of garbage
9 hundred hours of movies
8 piles of new toys
7 cases of pneumonia
6 kids, sick and bored
5 hours of sleep
4 throwing uppers
3 canceled parties
2 exhausted parents
and a totally destroyed house!
And there you have the Schwab family Christmas vacation. I won't even ask, could it get worse, because it probably could!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
12 days of sickness
11 boxes of Kleenex
10 bags of garbage
9 hundred hours of movies
8 piles of new toys
7 cases of pneumonia
6 kids, sick and bored
5 hours of sleep
4 throwing uppers
3 canceled parties
2 exhausted parents
and a totally destroyed house!
And there you have the Schwab family Christmas vacation. I won't even ask, could it get worse, because it probably could!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Monday, October 11, 2010
The Big Day
We last left my mom with a new baby and a wondering thought of, will this guy stick around. She slowly came to realize that he wasn't going anywhere and wanted to be a part of our lives. But, things were about to change.
He was an American, don't forget. And he was about to be stationed elsewhere; Texas, to be exact. When he brought it up to my mom, she had a very difficult decision to make, one that would change her life and mine forever.
The choices were clear enough, just not easy to make. Should she say goodbye to him and watch him leave the country, maybe to never return? It would leave her a single mother, she knew, but Germany was all she'd known. Her family, her friends, her job, everything was right there and it was good. But if she said goodbye, where would that leave her daughter? Without a dad, for sure, one she would probably never see again.
Should she follow him to the US? A place she'd only heard about in school and in movies? It wasn't just that it was a new place, but she hardly knew the language, knew little about the culture and knew no one besides this one American. And her family did not want her to leave and let her know it. But, if she went, her daughter would have her father, and she would have the man she'd come to love.
Well, you know what she decided, don't you. It's a dead give away, since I'm sitting here writing in English and not traveling the country looking for a dad I never met. What a hard decision to make though. I commend her decision and think it was the right one, even though for her, it was the more difficult one. They married on January 31st and by Easter were ready to head for the states.
I had been living with my Oma and Opa for a while now, with my mom visiting on the weekends. I had formed a bond with my Oma so deep, that neither of us still fully understand it. The last time I was in Germany visiting, we looked at old pictures and my Oma pulled out a photo of her and I on Easter. She just started to cry. Then she told me, it was the last weekend I was with her and she'd had to say goodbye to me. It still hurt her deeply to even talk about it. I could tell she never really thought it was the right choice. I cried along with her for all the lost weekend visits, the relationship that had only just begun and hadn't had a chance to mature, and the memories that were never made.
Though it's sad to think of this, I believe the Lord was guiding my mom to the states. He had a very specific plan for her life as he does for all our lives. I know he knows best and I do believe she made a good choice. I can say confidently that I wouldn't know my Lord if he hadn't directed her steps to the states.
Almost daily we are faced with hard circumstances and hard choices. Often we know the right choice just because our 'conscience' is telling us. That little voice in our heads is saying, "choose this way". I believe that to be the Holy Spirit. And all too often we ignore his prompting, because it's the harder choice and we like things to be easy. But if we are willing to make the right, albeit more difficult, choice, we are opening ourselves up to all kinds of blessings from the Lord.
In my mom's case, she wasn't consciously choosing the choice that the Lord wanted her to make, she was just listening to that little voice in her head. Later in life, when she knew the Lord, I know she would have said he led her to the states, but at the moment she wasn't aware of his leading. He was still leading, she just wasn't acknowledging that part of the situation. She still chose the harder path, setting aside her self and her worries for the concerns of her new family.
So, the day after Easter, we flew to the United States, to our new home, and a new life, leaving behind all my mom and I knew for the unknown and the adventure that awaited.
He was an American, don't forget. And he was about to be stationed elsewhere; Texas, to be exact. When he brought it up to my mom, she had a very difficult decision to make, one that would change her life and mine forever.
The choices were clear enough, just not easy to make. Should she say goodbye to him and watch him leave the country, maybe to never return? It would leave her a single mother, she knew, but Germany was all she'd known. Her family, her friends, her job, everything was right there and it was good. But if she said goodbye, where would that leave her daughter? Without a dad, for sure, one she would probably never see again.
Should she follow him to the US? A place she'd only heard about in school and in movies? It wasn't just that it was a new place, but she hardly knew the language, knew little about the culture and knew no one besides this one American. And her family did not want her to leave and let her know it. But, if she went, her daughter would have her father, and she would have the man she'd come to love.
Well, you know what she decided, don't you. It's a dead give away, since I'm sitting here writing in English and not traveling the country looking for a dad I never met. What a hard decision to make though. I commend her decision and think it was the right one, even though for her, it was the more difficult one. They married on January 31st and by Easter were ready to head for the states.
I had been living with my Oma and Opa for a while now, with my mom visiting on the weekends. I had formed a bond with my Oma so deep, that neither of us still fully understand it. The last time I was in Germany visiting, we looked at old pictures and my Oma pulled out a photo of her and I on Easter. She just started to cry. Then she told me, it was the last weekend I was with her and she'd had to say goodbye to me. It still hurt her deeply to even talk about it. I could tell she never really thought it was the right choice. I cried along with her for all the lost weekend visits, the relationship that had only just begun and hadn't had a chance to mature, and the memories that were never made.
Though it's sad to think of this, I believe the Lord was guiding my mom to the states. He had a very specific plan for her life as he does for all our lives. I know he knows best and I do believe she made a good choice. I can say confidently that I wouldn't know my Lord if he hadn't directed her steps to the states.
Almost daily we are faced with hard circumstances and hard choices. Often we know the right choice just because our 'conscience' is telling us. That little voice in our heads is saying, "choose this way". I believe that to be the Holy Spirit. And all too often we ignore his prompting, because it's the harder choice and we like things to be easy. But if we are willing to make the right, albeit more difficult, choice, we are opening ourselves up to all kinds of blessings from the Lord.
In my mom's case, she wasn't consciously choosing the choice that the Lord wanted her to make, she was just listening to that little voice in her head. Later in life, when she knew the Lord, I know she would have said he led her to the states, but at the moment she wasn't aware of his leading. He was still leading, she just wasn't acknowledging that part of the situation. She still chose the harder path, setting aside her self and her worries for the concerns of her new family.
So, the day after Easter, we flew to the United States, to our new home, and a new life, leaving behind all my mom and I knew for the unknown and the adventure that awaited.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
My Story
I have this plaque sitting on my desk that says "Home is where your story begins." Annie Danielson.
We all have a story don't we? Whether it includes laughter and joy or heartache and anger or both, we all have a story of where we've been, who we were, and where we're going.
When I started going to school as a kindergartener I developed this habit of hiding my hands behind my back. My mom noticed it and asked me why I was always keeping my hands behind me. I told her that kids were teasing me about my hands, calling them grandma hands. You see, I have extremely deep creases in my hands and always have. I've had people tell me, "you need to put lotion on those things!" But they aren't dry or cracked, they are just wrinkled. Well, she told me, "Oh don't you be ashamed of those hands. Wrinkled hands just mean you'll have an interesting life."
Isn't it amazing how a mom always has the right words. I felt better right away. Looking back, who knows if she just made it up or had heard it somewhere, but whatever the case, she gave me the boost I needed.
Turns out, I think she may have been on to something. I have had a pretty interesting life thus far, and Lord willing, I have a lot of life left to live.
My story begins in a home other than here, my mom's home. 33 years ago my mom met my dad. She lived in Ulm, Germany and he was there with the US airforce. He was walking through town and went into a park and couldn't find his way out. He asked her for directions, which she understood little of, and he followed her out of the park. It could end there, but he didn't just say thanks and leave. He followed her home. He was obviously taken by her. Who wouldn't be? She was a captivating woman, with long, thick, flowing hair, and a rather serious and thoughtful expression.
Months later, he was still dropping by and they began to enjoy one anothers' company. It wasn't long before she found she was pregnant. And here's where I must pause and reveal a wonderful truth in this story. She chose life. She wasn't married, knew her family would be saddened by it, wasn't sure what to do with a child when she worked nights all week at the hospital, didn't know where to put a child in a one bedroom apartment, and had no idea if my dad would stick around. And yet, despite the odds stacked against her, she chose life. And I thank God for that often.
On a hot summer day, two days after my due date, I finally made my entrance into this world. My mom had been in labor for two days and had not even told my dad, so she had me without him knowing about it at all! He had to find her through some friends. Turns out he stuck around.
My dad, being the gentleman, offered to marry my mom as soon as he had found out she was pregnant. Well, she didn't want to be hitched until she knew he would stick around and it took another 1 1/2 years after my birth to convince her.
During that time life wasn't easy for her. She remained single and worked a lot. She had me at a woman's house for daycare and my Oma (grandma) went to pick me up there one day. As she walked into the room where I was supposedly sleeping she saw me shut my eyes quickly when the door opened, pretending to sleep. She knew then and there that she couldn't leave me with that woman anymore. The daycare lady had told my mom before this that I slept all the time. So, I went to live with my grandparents during the week and my mom would come on weekends when she didn't have to work. As hard as that was for my mom she knew I was safe and I built an immensely strong and fierce bond with my Oma that has carried on to today.
It's amazing how as I think about this time in my life, a time I can't remember and know only from stories told me, how others so strongly influence and change the course of our lives. Parents, grandparents, siblings, spouses, even our own children rock our world and turn us around and change us forever. What a great privilege to have these relationships, even if they aren't the healthiest or best for us. They still influence us. Home truly is where our story begins, but it's just that. The beginning.
When I was a year and a half, my mom had to make an extremely hard decision that would affect my life forever. But that's another story for another day.
We all have a story don't we? Whether it includes laughter and joy or heartache and anger or both, we all have a story of where we've been, who we were, and where we're going.
When I started going to school as a kindergartener I developed this habit of hiding my hands behind my back. My mom noticed it and asked me why I was always keeping my hands behind me. I told her that kids were teasing me about my hands, calling them grandma hands. You see, I have extremely deep creases in my hands and always have. I've had people tell me, "you need to put lotion on those things!" But they aren't dry or cracked, they are just wrinkled. Well, she told me, "Oh don't you be ashamed of those hands. Wrinkled hands just mean you'll have an interesting life."
Isn't it amazing how a mom always has the right words. I felt better right away. Looking back, who knows if she just made it up or had heard it somewhere, but whatever the case, she gave me the boost I needed.
Turns out, I think she may have been on to something. I have had a pretty interesting life thus far, and Lord willing, I have a lot of life left to live.
My story begins in a home other than here, my mom's home. 33 years ago my mom met my dad. She lived in Ulm, Germany and he was there with the US airforce. He was walking through town and went into a park and couldn't find his way out. He asked her for directions, which she understood little of, and he followed her out of the park. It could end there, but he didn't just say thanks and leave. He followed her home. He was obviously taken by her. Who wouldn't be? She was a captivating woman, with long, thick, flowing hair, and a rather serious and thoughtful expression.
Months later, he was still dropping by and they began to enjoy one anothers' company. It wasn't long before she found she was pregnant. And here's where I must pause and reveal a wonderful truth in this story. She chose life. She wasn't married, knew her family would be saddened by it, wasn't sure what to do with a child when she worked nights all week at the hospital, didn't know where to put a child in a one bedroom apartment, and had no idea if my dad would stick around. And yet, despite the odds stacked against her, she chose life. And I thank God for that often.
On a hot summer day, two days after my due date, I finally made my entrance into this world. My mom had been in labor for two days and had not even told my dad, so she had me without him knowing about it at all! He had to find her through some friends. Turns out he stuck around.
My dad, being the gentleman, offered to marry my mom as soon as he had found out she was pregnant. Well, she didn't want to be hitched until she knew he would stick around and it took another 1 1/2 years after my birth to convince her.
During that time life wasn't easy for her. She remained single and worked a lot. She had me at a woman's house for daycare and my Oma (grandma) went to pick me up there one day. As she walked into the room where I was supposedly sleeping she saw me shut my eyes quickly when the door opened, pretending to sleep. She knew then and there that she couldn't leave me with that woman anymore. The daycare lady had told my mom before this that I slept all the time. So, I went to live with my grandparents during the week and my mom would come on weekends when she didn't have to work. As hard as that was for my mom she knew I was safe and I built an immensely strong and fierce bond with my Oma that has carried on to today.
It's amazing how as I think about this time in my life, a time I can't remember and know only from stories told me, how others so strongly influence and change the course of our lives. Parents, grandparents, siblings, spouses, even our own children rock our world and turn us around and change us forever. What a great privilege to have these relationships, even if they aren't the healthiest or best for us. They still influence us. Home truly is where our story begins, but it's just that. The beginning.
When I was a year and a half, my mom had to make an extremely hard decision that would affect my life forever. But that's another story for another day.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Give it all away
Yesterday my boys and a neighbor girl spent the day doing a lemonade and cookie stand. They had helped bake cookies the day before and were excited! They decided at the beginning of the day to donate all the money they made to Do:Living Water, an organization that builds fresh water wells in Africa for villages that are without.
For about the first twenty minutes cars just kept going by and the kids started getting disappointed and discouraged. They were complaining that they weren't going to make anything at all. I told them to just wait a little longer and I started praying the Lord would come through for them and show them what their efforts could produce. Boy, did he ever come through!
During the stand when customers would come up, the kids would tell them, "50 cents for a cookie, 50 cents for lemonade or a dollar for both." Then they would politely get out a cookie or fill a cup of lemonade and take the money. At that point they would say, "Thanks. All the money goes to build wells in Africa." Often the customers would tell them to keep the change and offer more money. It was so fun to watch and very fulfilling for the kids.
At the end of the day they had made $40. It was a great accomplishment for the kids since their goal was $30. They were counting it up and started talking about what they could buy with $40. Then they started talking about each keeping just one dollar. They were tempted by all that money there.
I just listened quietly, wondering if I should step in and say something about their original plan, but I felt the Lord telling me to stay quiet. As they talked on about it, it came around to one of them saying, "No, I'm not taking any of the money. I'm giving it all to wells just like we planned." Quickly they all came to that consensus and I was thrilled to see the Holy Spirit work through three 9 year olds to make a good decision.
I can't begin to describe how proud I am of my boys and our neighbor. They did an awesome job and made a God honoring decision! But even more than that, they learned that they can accomplish God's work with a little ambition, some team work, and a lot of fun.
What a faith builder for me, to see how the Lord worked in them, and brought about a victory for His kingdom work.
For about the first twenty minutes cars just kept going by and the kids started getting disappointed and discouraged. They were complaining that they weren't going to make anything at all. I told them to just wait a little longer and I started praying the Lord would come through for them and show them what their efforts could produce. Boy, did he ever come through!
During the stand when customers would come up, the kids would tell them, "50 cents for a cookie, 50 cents for lemonade or a dollar for both." Then they would politely get out a cookie or fill a cup of lemonade and take the money. At that point they would say, "Thanks. All the money goes to build wells in Africa." Often the customers would tell them to keep the change and offer more money. It was so fun to watch and very fulfilling for the kids.
At the end of the day they had made $40. It was a great accomplishment for the kids since their goal was $30. They were counting it up and started talking about what they could buy with $40. Then they started talking about each keeping just one dollar. They were tempted by all that money there.
I just listened quietly, wondering if I should step in and say something about their original plan, but I felt the Lord telling me to stay quiet. As they talked on about it, it came around to one of them saying, "No, I'm not taking any of the money. I'm giving it all to wells just like we planned." Quickly they all came to that consensus and I was thrilled to see the Holy Spirit work through three 9 year olds to make a good decision.
I can't begin to describe how proud I am of my boys and our neighbor. They did an awesome job and made a God honoring decision! But even more than that, they learned that they can accomplish God's work with a little ambition, some team work, and a lot of fun.
What a faith builder for me, to see how the Lord worked in them, and brought about a victory for His kingdom work.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Little Girl Lost
Not long ago around 9 in the evening, a young girl stopped by our house. She looked to be 15 or so. She was wearing pajamas and walking barefoot. She asked to use a phone and we let her. She tried a couple numbers and then handed back the phone. As she walked away the phone rang and it was someone she was trying to reach. So, she talked for a few minutes, handed back the phone and turned to walk away. My husband asked her if everything was all right, and she said, "yeah, fine". Then she took off running down the street.
Around 10:30pm we got a call from her sister asking if she was here. We told her what we knew and she informed us that she had had a fight with her dad and ran away. We started to pray for her and felt burdened for her. Around midnight her family was still out looking for her and came through our street. Andrew was still in the garage and saw them drive slowly down the street, so he stepped out and talked with them.
What he found out, scared us to the core. This young girl was trying to meet up with a man she'd met on the internet. A much older man who I'm sure did not truly want to help her.
We found out the next day that she returned home in the middle of the night and was safe. Praise God! But in the midst of this situation we thanked our God above that we knew where our daughters were in the middle of the night. I had to give them all big hugs in the morning. Not only that, but we realized the importance of the relationship between father and daughter.
A father needs to love his daughter so much and show it to her, so that she won't have any reason to turn to an outside source to fill that need. And there is an innate need in a little girl to be doted on and loved and cherished by her father. That's not to say discipline and rules are set aside, but that there is a balance. That need doesn't disappear with age. In fact I think it grows stronger in the teenage years when life is confusing at best.
In light of it all, give your daughters a big hug, and love them with all you've got. It will be what keeps them from running and leaving you wondering if your little girl is lost.
Around 10:30pm we got a call from her sister asking if she was here. We told her what we knew and she informed us that she had had a fight with her dad and ran away. We started to pray for her and felt burdened for her. Around midnight her family was still out looking for her and came through our street. Andrew was still in the garage and saw them drive slowly down the street, so he stepped out and talked with them.
What he found out, scared us to the core. This young girl was trying to meet up with a man she'd met on the internet. A much older man who I'm sure did not truly want to help her.
We found out the next day that she returned home in the middle of the night and was safe. Praise God! But in the midst of this situation we thanked our God above that we knew where our daughters were in the middle of the night. I had to give them all big hugs in the morning. Not only that, but we realized the importance of the relationship between father and daughter.
A father needs to love his daughter so much and show it to her, so that she won't have any reason to turn to an outside source to fill that need. And there is an innate need in a little girl to be doted on and loved and cherished by her father. That's not to say discipline and rules are set aside, but that there is a balance. That need doesn't disappear with age. In fact I think it grows stronger in the teenage years when life is confusing at best.
In light of it all, give your daughters a big hug, and love them with all you've got. It will be what keeps them from running and leaving you wondering if your little girl is lost.
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