I remember when my mom turned thirty. I was about eight and I thought she was soooo old! I couldn't believe anyone could be thirty. I also couldn't see myself ever getting that old!
Now, I'm thirty and last summer when I turned thirty my boys, who were eight, told my I was soooo old! How the tides have turned. I thought to myself, it's not that old.
Often I think, I'm not old enough to have six kids! I have a friend with teenagers and she said she doesn't feel old enough to have kids that old! I guess it just sneaks up on you whether you're ready for it or not.
This summer my youngest are about to turn two and my oldest about to turn nine! I don't feel old enough for that either. It's bittersweet too, watching them grow up so fast. People often told me, enjoy it, it goes by fast. And, especially when the oldest were really little, I'd think, it sure isn't going by fast right now! And yet, look at it now. There aren't any babies in the house anymore and my boys are moving close to double digits!
Last night I gave my two year olds haircuts and bangs. It instantly made them look so much older and I realized they aren't babies anymore. They've somehow, under the radar, turned into little girls. I feel I missed it somewhere, with everything that goes on here. Right under my nose they are all growing up.
Last week my five year old got glasses and boy, did that make her look grown up, and adorable. But again, I thought, I still have vivid memories of rocking her as a baby and now she's going on six and about to start kindergarten.
So, whether I'm old enough or not, that's life! It is true, that it goes by in the blink of an eye and you look back wondering where did the time go? You and I have heard it before, but I'll say it again, better enjoy it, it goes by way too fast.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Left-over sin
2 Kings 10:28-29 So Jehu destroyed Baal worship in Israel. However, he did not turn away from the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, which he had caused Israel to commi - the worship of golden calves at Bethel and Dan.
This struck me today as I was reading. Jehu worked so hard at getting rid of Baal worship. He even used deception to get all the Baal priests in one temple to kill them. He spent time on this and energy and money. Yet when all was said and done, it wasn't really all said and done. For some reason he was okay with the golden calf worship and didn't see the need to rid Israel of that. At one point before he killed all the Baal priests, he said to someone, "Come, see my zeal for the Lord". His zeal was obviously not that full of zeal.
It made me think, though, about myself. How many left over sins do I have? Do I spend time and energy getting rid of one sin and then think, good, that's done? What or who am I truly worshiping?
I don't like to dwell overly on sin because I know I'm forgiven and Christ has paid for those sins. I don't need to beat myself up over them continually, but I do need to confess them and move away from them. I also need to ask my Lord what I'm hanging on to that needs to go.
Thankfully, He is gracious and forgiving and will reveal what I need to purge and give me the strength to do it. He doesn't want us to have left-overs anymore than we do!
This struck me today as I was reading. Jehu worked so hard at getting rid of Baal worship. He even used deception to get all the Baal priests in one temple to kill them. He spent time on this and energy and money. Yet when all was said and done, it wasn't really all said and done. For some reason he was okay with the golden calf worship and didn't see the need to rid Israel of that. At one point before he killed all the Baal priests, he said to someone, "Come, see my zeal for the Lord". His zeal was obviously not that full of zeal.
It made me think, though, about myself. How many left over sins do I have? Do I spend time and energy getting rid of one sin and then think, good, that's done? What or who am I truly worshiping?
I don't like to dwell overly on sin because I know I'm forgiven and Christ has paid for those sins. I don't need to beat myself up over them continually, but I do need to confess them and move away from them. I also need to ask my Lord what I'm hanging on to that needs to go.
Thankfully, He is gracious and forgiving and will reveal what I need to purge and give me the strength to do it. He doesn't want us to have left-overs anymore than we do!
Friday, June 11, 2010
Victory!
This whole week I've felt just down, kind of blah. I couldn't really pinpoint it but everything had me discouraged. Nothing big, but just little things all week. Last week we went to the eye doctor and my eyes got worse and I'm still trying to find contacts that will work right. And Olivia needs glasses. Our van had just broken down and needed major repairs, and it's been raining for what feels like a month!
Well last night I was supposed to go to Bible study and every thought I had was against going. But I picked myself up and grabbed my stuff and fought the urge to stay home. Let me tell you, I'm so glad I did. It was exactly what I needed. I spent two hours with people I love, talking about the Lord I love and laughing hard, which is great medicine for a down-trodden spirit.
As I got into the car to drive home the perfect song came on the radio. I thought, Thank you, Lord, for bringing me to group tonight, thank you for this song. It's exactly what I needed.
When I got home I was feeling a little better and as I laid down in bed it dawned on me. This is spiritual warfare. Satan wants me to feel discouraged and cut off from friends. He wants me to feel alone in this world so that he can get at my heart. I don't know why it took me four or five days, but hey, I'm a little slow, okay!
I prayed in the name of Jesus for Satan to leave and took away all his power over my thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and relinquished every burden I'd been holding on to, to my all powerful God. And an amazing thing happened. I felt amazingly better and not only that but light as a feather as if a huge weight was lifted from me.
I hope next time I feel down and discouraged I remember a little quicker that I can call on my Lord and he will rescue me. There's nothing better than knowing we can have victory every time over Satan because of our great God! Thank you, God, that you are an all powerful, ever present God, who knows my needs and how to rescue me!
Well last night I was supposed to go to Bible study and every thought I had was against going. But I picked myself up and grabbed my stuff and fought the urge to stay home. Let me tell you, I'm so glad I did. It was exactly what I needed. I spent two hours with people I love, talking about the Lord I love and laughing hard, which is great medicine for a down-trodden spirit.
As I got into the car to drive home the perfect song came on the radio. I thought, Thank you, Lord, for bringing me to group tonight, thank you for this song. It's exactly what I needed.
When I got home I was feeling a little better and as I laid down in bed it dawned on me. This is spiritual warfare. Satan wants me to feel discouraged and cut off from friends. He wants me to feel alone in this world so that he can get at my heart. I don't know why it took me four or five days, but hey, I'm a little slow, okay!
I prayed in the name of Jesus for Satan to leave and took away all his power over my thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and relinquished every burden I'd been holding on to, to my all powerful God. And an amazing thing happened. I felt amazingly better and not only that but light as a feather as if a huge weight was lifted from me.
I hope next time I feel down and discouraged I remember a little quicker that I can call on my Lord and he will rescue me. There's nothing better than knowing we can have victory every time over Satan because of our great God! Thank you, God, that you are an all powerful, ever present God, who knows my needs and how to rescue me!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Not Really Home
Lately I've been craving Germany. It may sound odd, to crave a place. But to me Germany is my second home. It's, first of all, my birthplace which makes it special in my heart. There are memories built there over the years and the many trips back and there is family there that I see once every two or three or four years.
These days everything has been reminding me of Germany. I'll smell a flower and think, oh, that fragrance is right on the street where my Oma lives. Or I'll taste a food and it will bring my back to Oma's dining table. A sound or a sight of rolling hills will spark images in my mind of places I've seen and visited there.
Of course, when I'm there, I miss Minnesota and all my family here. There's never a true contentment in either place. I often wish I could mold the two places together side by side and have the best of both worlds.
As I thought about this and was missing Germany I was reminded of something a friend told me. As she was moving from one state to another and was having a really hard time with it, a friend of her's told her something so simple yet so profound. "You know," she said, "neither place is really home."
Isn't that the truth? If we truly love our God and know our place after death, no where on this earth is truly home. We will never feel a true contentment because our hearts know where home is and we aren't there yet. It helps close the gap of over 3000 miles on days when I miss Germany to remember that it's not really home, nor is Northfield, Minnesota. My true home is heaven and while I wait anxiously to go there and be home, I will serve my Lord here for as long as He'll let me.
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21
These days everything has been reminding me of Germany. I'll smell a flower and think, oh, that fragrance is right on the street where my Oma lives. Or I'll taste a food and it will bring my back to Oma's dining table. A sound or a sight of rolling hills will spark images in my mind of places I've seen and visited there.
Of course, when I'm there, I miss Minnesota and all my family here. There's never a true contentment in either place. I often wish I could mold the two places together side by side and have the best of both worlds.
As I thought about this and was missing Germany I was reminded of something a friend told me. As she was moving from one state to another and was having a really hard time with it, a friend of her's told her something so simple yet so profound. "You know," she said, "neither place is really home."
Isn't that the truth? If we truly love our God and know our place after death, no where on this earth is truly home. We will never feel a true contentment because our hearts know where home is and we aren't there yet. It helps close the gap of over 3000 miles on days when I miss Germany to remember that it's not really home, nor is Northfield, Minnesota. My true home is heaven and while I wait anxiously to go there and be home, I will serve my Lord here for as long as He'll let me.
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21
Friday, May 28, 2010
So True
It's so easy to get wrapped up in the day to day and get tired of it, especially, I think, as a mom of young kids. Will this ever end, we cry?
These lines from an unknown author gave me a much needed reminder:
One of these days you'll shout, "Why don't you kids grow up and act your age?" And they will. Or you'll say, "Kids, get outside and find yourselves something to do, and don't slam the door!" And they won't.
You'll straighten the boy's bedroom neat and tidy - bumper stickers discarded, spread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves, hangers in the closet with clothes attached, animals caged - and you'll say out loud, "Now I want it to stay just like this!" And it will.
You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked to death and cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you'll say, "Now there's a meal fit for company!" And you will eat alone.
You'll say, "I want complete privacy while I'm on the phone. No dancing around. No pantomimes. No demolition crews. Silence. Do you hear me?" And you will have it.
No more plastic place mats stained with spaghetti. No more spreads to protect sofas from damp bottoms and dusty shoes. No more gates to stumble over in the doorway of the baby's room. No more Hot Wheels or Barbie dolls under the couch. No more playpens to arrange a room around.
No more anxious nights under vaporizer tents. No more cracker curmbs on the sheets. No more wall-to-wall water in the bathroom. No more iron-on patches. No wet, knotted shoelaces, pants with knees out, or rubber bands for pony tails.
Imagine a lipstick with a point on it, not having to get a baby-sitter for New Year's Eve, family washing only once a week, seeing a steak that isn't ground, marketing with only groceries in the basket. No more PTA meetings. No more car pools. No blaring radios or Sesame Street three times a day. No more washing hair at 9 o'clock at night. And no more wondering, "Where is the family car!" Imagine having your own roll of Scotch tape.
Think about it. No more Christmas presents made out of construction paper and will-hold glue. No more sloppy oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No more giggles in the dark. No knees to heal. No responsibility! Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up!" And the silence echoing, "I did!"
Hope this encourages you today.
These lines from an unknown author gave me a much needed reminder:
One of these days you'll shout, "Why don't you kids grow up and act your age?" And they will. Or you'll say, "Kids, get outside and find yourselves something to do, and don't slam the door!" And they won't.
You'll straighten the boy's bedroom neat and tidy - bumper stickers discarded, spread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves, hangers in the closet with clothes attached, animals caged - and you'll say out loud, "Now I want it to stay just like this!" And it will.
You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked to death and cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you'll say, "Now there's a meal fit for company!" And you will eat alone.
You'll say, "I want complete privacy while I'm on the phone. No dancing around. No pantomimes. No demolition crews. Silence. Do you hear me?" And you will have it.
No more plastic place mats stained with spaghetti. No more spreads to protect sofas from damp bottoms and dusty shoes. No more gates to stumble over in the doorway of the baby's room. No more Hot Wheels or Barbie dolls under the couch. No more playpens to arrange a room around.
No more anxious nights under vaporizer tents. No more cracker curmbs on the sheets. No more wall-to-wall water in the bathroom. No more iron-on patches. No wet, knotted shoelaces, pants with knees out, or rubber bands for pony tails.
Imagine a lipstick with a point on it, not having to get a baby-sitter for New Year's Eve, family washing only once a week, seeing a steak that isn't ground, marketing with only groceries in the basket. No more PTA meetings. No more car pools. No blaring radios or Sesame Street three times a day. No more washing hair at 9 o'clock at night. And no more wondering, "Where is the family car!" Imagine having your own roll of Scotch tape.
Think about it. No more Christmas presents made out of construction paper and will-hold glue. No more sloppy oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No more giggles in the dark. No knees to heal. No responsibility! Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up!" And the silence echoing, "I did!"
Hope this encourages you today.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Saint, not Sinner
Have you ever thought you were the absolute worst person in the world? You had a rough day and yelled at everyone around you, or cut off some guy on the road because he was making you angry. You harbored thoughts of jealousy or resentment towards a friend, or blatantly caused them hurt because you were upset.
I have often thought that I must be the worst mom there is. All too often, I am too harsh with my kids over silly little things and am completely impatient. Everyday I can count numerous offenses against my kids and by the end of the day, I think God can't possibly look on me with joy or pleasure.
I'm sure you've heard the phrase 'sinner saved by grace' before. I know I've heard it a lot. And it's true, is it not? We were spiritually dead, slaves to sin, before we accepted God's free gift. Because of amazing grace we are saved from our sins. And so, I've always just thought of myself as a sinner struggling along to do the right things and please God. I'm reminded from time to time that the Holy Spirit is there to help us past that sin, but mostly I just think of how many things I've done wrong in a day and have to ask forgiveness for and the fact that I'll probably do that many wrong tomorrow.
Have you ever thought about yourself differently? Last night I started a new book The Seduction of Our Children by Neil T. Anderson and Steve Russo. I only made it a few pages before something struck me. "But we have confused ourselves and our children by calling ourselves "sinners saved by grace" when the Bible calls us saints who occasionally sin. The difference is profound. If your child (or you) still thinks he's a sinner, he will easily be convinced to do what sinners do: sin. Rather, every born-again child of God is a saint who has been transferred out of the domain of darkness into the kingdom of Christ (Colossians 1:13). The more your child (or you) believes that he is a saint because of his faith in Christ's death and resurrection, the more he will live like a saint." (pg 19, items in parenthesis mine). Wow!
I had to stop and think that one over awhile. I think it'll take me a long time to fully process it. You've all heard of these psychologists toting the notion of "positive thought", right? Well I think when that positive thought is focused on God and His will for our lives it really does work.
This morning, just to drive this point home, God revealed this in His Word to me. Romans 6:18 says, "You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness" and Romans 6:22 says, "But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life." How does this relate? It means that we used to be slaves to sin and are now slaves to a most holy and righteous God that views us as holy and righteous. He doesn't look at us and see all we've done wrong, He looks at us and sees us through Jesus who is holy and righteous. I almost imagine Jesus as a filter that God looks through to see us. That filter removes all the bad and God sees us as saints.
The next time you start berating yourself for all the wrong things you've done, remember to ask forgiveness and then not dwell on it any longer. God isn't. He's forgiven you and doesn't look at you as a sinner but as a saint. What an amazing God we have!
I realize as well that the more I desire to love like He loves, the more He is showing me how much He loves me. If He can look on me and not see my sin, should I not do the same for those around me, especially my kids?
I have often thought that I must be the worst mom there is. All too often, I am too harsh with my kids over silly little things and am completely impatient. Everyday I can count numerous offenses against my kids and by the end of the day, I think God can't possibly look on me with joy or pleasure.
I'm sure you've heard the phrase 'sinner saved by grace' before. I know I've heard it a lot. And it's true, is it not? We were spiritually dead, slaves to sin, before we accepted God's free gift. Because of amazing grace we are saved from our sins. And so, I've always just thought of myself as a sinner struggling along to do the right things and please God. I'm reminded from time to time that the Holy Spirit is there to help us past that sin, but mostly I just think of how many things I've done wrong in a day and have to ask forgiveness for and the fact that I'll probably do that many wrong tomorrow.
Have you ever thought about yourself differently? Last night I started a new book The Seduction of Our Children by Neil T. Anderson and Steve Russo. I only made it a few pages before something struck me. "But we have confused ourselves and our children by calling ourselves "sinners saved by grace" when the Bible calls us saints who occasionally sin. The difference is profound. If your child (or you) still thinks he's a sinner, he will easily be convinced to do what sinners do: sin. Rather, every born-again child of God is a saint who has been transferred out of the domain of darkness into the kingdom of Christ (Colossians 1:13). The more your child (or you) believes that he is a saint because of his faith in Christ's death and resurrection, the more he will live like a saint." (pg 19, items in parenthesis mine). Wow!
I had to stop and think that one over awhile. I think it'll take me a long time to fully process it. You've all heard of these psychologists toting the notion of "positive thought", right? Well I think when that positive thought is focused on God and His will for our lives it really does work.
This morning, just to drive this point home, God revealed this in His Word to me. Romans 6:18 says, "You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness" and Romans 6:22 says, "But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life." How does this relate? It means that we used to be slaves to sin and are now slaves to a most holy and righteous God that views us as holy and righteous. He doesn't look at us and see all we've done wrong, He looks at us and sees us through Jesus who is holy and righteous. I almost imagine Jesus as a filter that God looks through to see us. That filter removes all the bad and God sees us as saints.
The next time you start berating yourself for all the wrong things you've done, remember to ask forgiveness and then not dwell on it any longer. God isn't. He's forgiven you and doesn't look at you as a sinner but as a saint. What an amazing God we have!
I realize as well that the more I desire to love like He loves, the more He is showing me how much He loves me. If He can look on me and not see my sin, should I not do the same for those around me, especially my kids?
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Spending time with God
I was thinking over my quiet times lately and something interesting dawned on me. A few years ago I was in a Bible study called the 2:7 Series. The first book in the series required us at some point during the study to spend seven consecutive days doing quiet times, that is reading somewhere in our Bible, writing about it and praying about it. It took me over two weeks to get seven days in a row! And it was suggested that we spend 15 minutes a day. I remember in that time thinking what in the world will I do for 15 minutes. I even remember looking up at the clock to see if time had gone by yet! It was so hard to read and write and pray for 15 minutes for seven days!
The next book in the study required us to do 14 days in a row! Oh no, I thought, how will I ever get that accomplished? It took me over a month to do it, but as hard as it was I made it, 15 minutes a day and all!
Now, looking back I can't believe I had such a hard time with it. These days I find myself looking up at the clock only to realize that 40 minutes have gone by and I've only read and written. I think, oh no, I have to get the kids up and I'm not done yet! What a change!
What made the difference? There wasn't a specific day that I can say, because of this situation or this miracle or this audible voice from heaven. All that happened is that I persevered and kept trying to spend time with my Bible and God. I started to get to know God slowly with each reading and journal entry and prayer. As I got to know God and am still getting to know Him I want to spend more and more time with Him because I am finding He's so truly amazing and as my boys love to say 'incomprehensible'. The things I can learn about God, His character, His miracles, and His presence never end. Every time I read something in the Bible, even if I've read it before it applies to my life! It's truly amazing how alive scripture is and how much we can benefit from it IF we persevere work through the dry spells.
It's hard at first because there's a lot of information and a lot of history that we just don't understand. But if we continue in it and pray for wisdom and understanding, our great God is faithful in providing what we need and revealing himself to us!
I always find it amazing how easily we can get lost in a good novel. What if we got lost in the pages of the only book that's alive with God's words? What would our lives look like? Go ahead, try it. Just 15 minutes for the next seven days. See what happens.
The next book in the study required us to do 14 days in a row! Oh no, I thought, how will I ever get that accomplished? It took me over a month to do it, but as hard as it was I made it, 15 minutes a day and all!
Now, looking back I can't believe I had such a hard time with it. These days I find myself looking up at the clock only to realize that 40 minutes have gone by and I've only read and written. I think, oh no, I have to get the kids up and I'm not done yet! What a change!
What made the difference? There wasn't a specific day that I can say, because of this situation or this miracle or this audible voice from heaven. All that happened is that I persevered and kept trying to spend time with my Bible and God. I started to get to know God slowly with each reading and journal entry and prayer. As I got to know God and am still getting to know Him I want to spend more and more time with Him because I am finding He's so truly amazing and as my boys love to say 'incomprehensible'. The things I can learn about God, His character, His miracles, and His presence never end. Every time I read something in the Bible, even if I've read it before it applies to my life! It's truly amazing how alive scripture is and how much we can benefit from it IF we persevere work through the dry spells.
It's hard at first because there's a lot of information and a lot of history that we just don't understand. But if we continue in it and pray for wisdom and understanding, our great God is faithful in providing what we need and revealing himself to us!
I always find it amazing how easily we can get lost in a good novel. What if we got lost in the pages of the only book that's alive with God's words? What would our lives look like? Go ahead, try it. Just 15 minutes for the next seven days. See what happens.
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